a man in a skeleton suit does a little dance around her and ignoring me completely drags her into the throbbing crowd as the music changes pace into some kinda weird hardcore tribal jungle beat, a bunch of colourful characters hop around doing some sporadic monkey dance, i watch them swallowed into the absurd throng.
a smoke machine pumps out mist and everyone seems to be lost in a friendly cloud of dry ice. i should leave, but i can't see anything, the mist is everywhere and in a room filled with people my machinations to find an exit result in chaos, spilled drinks and embarrassed faces, i'm awkward at the best of times let alone on a dance floor. i find myself at the bar and order another dark and stormy, wondering if a variation could be called dark and misty, maybe substitute the ginger beer for root beer or sarsaparilla.
the girl in the fur bikini is moving her lips, i can't hear what she's saying so i lean in closer.
'wanna have a drink with me, i finish up in 20 minutes?'
'sure, i'd like that, can we go somewhere quieter, this noise is doing my head in.'
'yes, wait over there and i'll grab you in twenty, thirty max.'
'okay.'
i stand by the designated spot and in twenty minutes she emerges still wearing the fur but under a dark trench-coat with a faux tiger fur trim.
we hit the streets, it's cooler out there, southerly wind blowing in after a hot day.
'where you taking me bar maiden?'
'after my shift i usually stop in at the 'citizen kaned' i like to have a night cap. it's quiet and sophisticated, usually empty, its my secret spot to unwind.'
'secret spot, mmm, are you sure you wanna share it with me.'
'yes, i'm sure. the moment i saw you i knew i would.'
'really!'
'yes, really. so what's your name mr?'
'captain, captain mission.'
'i'm audrey.'
'well it's lovely to meet you audrey, i offer her an arm she leads me along the main street.
'so what happened to your friend?'
'ah she, well she's my er connection, more of a recreational contact than a friend.'
'ha, recreational contact, that's an interesting description, she a model?'
'it's possible, i don't know, she's kinda glamorous but dangerous so i keep her at arms length.'
'you liked her didn't you.'
'not in the way you imagine, it's not really about like but need.'
'you need her?'
'well i have exotic tastes and she supplies me with them.'
'ahh okay, excellent, every one needs some one for something, i think we will be good friends.'
we turn into a small alley way, the street lights and headlights fade away and the walls are far darker. i can see a neon sign on the other side of the street and a doorman standing outside. we cross and approach.
audrey chats with the doorman and then takes me up a long narrow staircase, it has a right angled turn and seems to get narrower the higher we climb.
my knee hurts but it would be very uncool to mention anything about it so i just focus my thoughts elsewhere, it's getting harder to see as we ascend into pitch darkness.
suddenly we enter a bar. it's quite beautiful, dark marble pillars and floors, luxurious soft velvet armchairs and ornate tables, crystal chandeliers from some louis the 14th ball room. i'm stunned by the beauty and attention to detail but it's the size that really takes my breath away. it reaches in all directions, almost as far as i can see, walkways lead into smaller chambers and each room seems to have an equal amount of sub rooms, like a mandela.
the only person i can see is standing behind the bar, he's working on a cocktail the way a sculptor would a marble block.
we walk over, the bartender presents the drink, complete with garnish flourish and a beaming smile.
'think you're gonna like this one audrey, i made it just the way you like it but perfected the celestial aspect.'
'is that a syringe?' i point at the syringe laying at the bar.
'yes, it's a tool of my trade. look, i have many tools to assist me.'
with a sweep of his hand he shows me a little workstation behind him, almost like a surgeons instruments, small scalpels, twisting devices, test tubes in a large rack that stretches out, a micro blowtorch and a set of digital scales.
'geoffery is a molecular gastronomy chief who specialises in cocktails, like heston on tv, but geoffery works only with alcohol.'
'that's interesting.'
'he also is an astrologist and by working with your chart creates a drink that defines your personality. it's a bit convoluted but once he's defined your chart he can create the drink that matches your zodiac for each night of the year. so it's always tweaked slightly, so this would be my drink for tonight. thank you geoffrey.'
'i've never heard anything quite like that, amazing.'
he smiles, and rubs his hands together, 'so i will just be needing your dates.'
'really i only really drink one drink these days,' i can tell i'm offending him, so i smile reluctantly, 'okay geoffrey, okay, ha, lets do it.'
I'm sceptical, slightly nervous as i don't drink much and yet curious.
i scrawl my dates down on a notepad.
'vedic for you i feel.'
i nod my head in agreement.
audery escorts me to a small sunken room, for the first time i notice she's wearing ornate heels, quite high. we lounge in a huge sofa with thick velvet cushions. there's a massive mirror reflecting ourselves back at us from high up giving the effect we are much lower down.
'i'm going to wait for your drink to arrive but would you like a little taste of me?'
we giggle a little, as i nod my head, somewhat nervous at the intimacy.
audrey slips a tiny silver metal like straw into the strange looking drink and passes it to me with a beaming smile that's part cute and part daring.
'secret spot, mmm, are you sure you wanna share it with me.'
'yes, i'm sure. the moment i saw you i knew i would.'
'really!'
'yes, really. so what's your name mr?'
'captain, captain mission.'
'i'm audrey.'
'well it's lovely to meet you audrey, i offer her an arm she leads me along the main street.
'so what happened to your friend?'
'ah she, well she's my er connection, more of a recreational contact than a friend.'
'ha, recreational contact, that's an interesting description, she a model?'
'it's possible, i don't know, she's kinda glamorous but dangerous so i keep her at arms length.'
'you liked her didn't you.'
'not in the way you imagine, it's not really about like but need.'
'you need her?'
'well i have exotic tastes and she supplies me with them.'
'ahh okay, excellent, every one needs some one for something, i think we will be good friends.'
we turn into a small alley way, the street lights and headlights fade away and the walls are far darker. i can see a neon sign on the other side of the street and a doorman standing outside. we cross and approach.
audrey chats with the doorman and then takes me up a long narrow staircase, it has a right angled turn and seems to get narrower the higher we climb.
my knee hurts but it would be very uncool to mention anything about it so i just focus my thoughts elsewhere, it's getting harder to see as we ascend into pitch darkness.
suddenly we enter a bar. it's quite beautiful, dark marble pillars and floors, luxurious soft velvet armchairs and ornate tables, crystal chandeliers from some louis the 14th ball room. i'm stunned by the beauty and attention to detail but it's the size that really takes my breath away. it reaches in all directions, almost as far as i can see, walkways lead into smaller chambers and each room seems to have an equal amount of sub rooms, like a mandela.
the only person i can see is standing behind the bar, he's working on a cocktail the way a sculptor would a marble block.
we walk over, the bartender presents the drink, complete with garnish flourish and a beaming smile.
'think you're gonna like this one audrey, i made it just the way you like it but perfected the celestial aspect.'
'is that a syringe?' i point at the syringe laying at the bar.
'yes, it's a tool of my trade. look, i have many tools to assist me.'
with a sweep of his hand he shows me a little workstation behind him, almost like a surgeons instruments, small scalpels, twisting devices, test tubes in a large rack that stretches out, a micro blowtorch and a set of digital scales.
'geoffery is a molecular gastronomy chief who specialises in cocktails, like heston on tv, but geoffery works only with alcohol.'
'that's interesting.'
'he also is an astrologist and by working with your chart creates a drink that defines your personality. it's a bit convoluted but once he's defined your chart he can create the drink that matches your zodiac for each night of the year. so it's always tweaked slightly, so this would be my drink for tonight. thank you geoffrey.'
'i've never heard anything quite like that, amazing.'
he smiles, and rubs his hands together, 'so i will just be needing your dates.'
'really i only really drink one drink these days,' i can tell i'm offending him, so i smile reluctantly, 'okay geoffrey, okay, ha, lets do it.'
I'm sceptical, slightly nervous as i don't drink much and yet curious.
i scrawl my dates down on a notepad.
'vedic for you i feel.'
i nod my head in agreement.
audery escorts me to a small sunken room, for the first time i notice she's wearing ornate heels, quite high. we lounge in a huge sofa with thick velvet cushions. there's a massive mirror reflecting ourselves back at us from high up giving the effect we are much lower down.
'i'm going to wait for your drink to arrive but would you like a little taste of me?'
we giggle a little, as i nod my head, somewhat nervous at the intimacy.
audrey slips a tiny silver metal like straw into the strange looking drink and passes it to me with a beaming smile that's part cute and part daring.
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