fucking and punching, kicking out the jams, against the pricks and the hopeless fated inevitable conclusion that i can't get to the city despite my will to. the planets collude, the gods mock me laughing down at my stupid plan, although well intentioned falling apart in rain. 

fuck it! can't fight this. i would have loved to have seen the glide show with sk playing williams tunes, what a great night, i had it all planned out in my head, my king street shuffle, but i couldn't even make it out the front door. it wasn't for want of trying. 

i spend the evening alone, watching the fucking darkness and storm swallow up the world and leave me very alone. i'd probably watch some tv but there's nothing, not even a dim light anywhere, just blackness and wet. the candle, a burnt out old tea light i have splutters forth some second hand light, it barely allows me sight to navigate the bathroom and just when i start to settle 'puff' it's extinguished. 

can't even read, can't make a cup of tea, can't roll a spliff, can't listen to music, can't use the phone to call someone. i just paid my power bill, there's nothing coming down that down the line. dead. just trawl my sorry ass up the steps and get myself in bed, sleep it away.