deep in amazonia me and the men stopped to make camp, we had been ravaged by this jungle, it had eaten itself yet it thrived, the top fed on the bottom and we were somewhere at the bottom. huge root systems and vines made our path all the more difficult, the bugs were drinking our blood, the heat was draining our energy, the noise of the forest was destroying our ears, the fear was destroying our spirit and the diminishing supply of food and water ravaged at our body. we knew food was abundant but since the loss of the guide no one dared experiment. after all if the guide can pick a handful of berries and then turn blue as his stomach explodes why would we choose to follow. our focus was a sighting a wild pig or if pushed a monkey, but so far we had only seen bugs, snakes and spiders.
there were three of us now, the other four had been sucked into quick sand, it swallowed them up fast and spat them out in skeletal form. who would have thought such cruel and brutal life exists, i'd never seen anything like it on david attenbourgh.

around the campfire we quickly fell into deep sleeps, i was dreaming about a home cooked meal prepared by my wife, her loving smile, my blissful dream, was shattered by a scream, a blood curdling one that shot through the night and sounded somewhat inhuman. we all woke up startled. for a moment we all froze looking into the flame and then we pulled out our guns and started to rise. everyone went through the ritual of inspecting their boots for the scorpions that we ceremoniously checked for but it was pointless in the dying embers of our fire. a huge moth danced around my head, it's erratic flight and strange moth dust sent a shiver through me.

the men now started to light torches from the fire and we marched out carefully following the scream, something rustled above us in the canopy, something big.
i gestured with a finger across my mouth, the men stopped their nervous whispers and followed me into the living darkness. after a few minites i turned around to check on them but there was no one there. my body started to tremor, i risked calling out, but fear had me by the throat. i was covered in sweat, my machete slipped from my hands, the flame on the torch seemed to flicker and die, but just before it did, in that final moment, the one that haunts i could make out a pair of yellow eyes, animal but tall, their eyes of a man but something more, the burning eyes of intelligence and savagery.

in the darkness i knew i could run further into the jungle and be eaten alive by the million creatures or the other possibility would be to march towards the unknown and meet my fate face to fate, look into the eyes and see what happens next. i threw down the stick next to the machete and walked towards the eyes.
each step seemed to illuminate the scene, a tall warrior like figure half man half beast stood before me, the jaguar god. his gaze was hypnotic and i could see he was indeed the king of his domain. as i strode nearer i could make out the animals in the trees, leering down upon us, there were a number of beasts standing at his side, two jaguars, snakes and birds. i fell before him thinking about mercy but part of me wanted none.
this was a place of no mercy, it was a brutal energy, constantly turbulently changing, there was no stillness, nothing was zen, the jungle is a hive of energies, the inside of the atom, everything eats everything, energy exchange on a massive scale, life gives life, there is no death here, i smiled and surrendered to the jaguar god.