conversation with a girl who visited me

me: i don't have ant tv, electric lights, in fact i'm in bed when the sun goes down and up at dawn.
her: wow
me: yeah i live like a monk
her: yeah you are a monk
me: well its better than living like a monkey
her: i suppose
me: here, have a banana

so im walking through the markets in glebe with my wealthy friend who likes to buy elaborate and expensive things, antiques and strange english things from ye olde days. anyway he decides to buy a plant for is garden and im pointing out the wonderful aloe vera plant when suddenly i see it move, actually its a huge preying mantis, it's about the size of my palm and its moving fast. the market holder came and removed the mantis onto another plant, and i told him i had a dream about a giant preying mantis but he didn't seem that interested.
anyways i figure i may have to buy a aloe vera myself.

later that afternoon i met a clairvoyant lady. my friend bought a shit load of her stuff as she chatted about her powers and some of the things she had done, i stood and listened. then she looked at me and said, 'you are very feminine, you are very sensitive.'
i had to agree.

went to see the german film the counterfeiters last night, its very good. bit brutal but excellent story and acting. very grainy film and gritty camera work, all true apparently. seems to be a few good movies coming from germany where they look back at their history. downfall, life of others etc.

i finished my book 'the secret history of the world', i've now started 'the brain that repairs itself', a book about neuroplastics, very interesting.
secret history looks at the secret societies and the information they seem to have that can be traced through the ages especially in art and science. as you know a lot of these scientists were also members of strange esoteric cults. the author looks at the development of consciousness and evolution through the realms of matter, mineral vegetable animal and human. he looks at the war that exists between the material world and the one of spirit, the more the material one becomes stronger the more matter becomes denser and this reality becomes fixed, thus we are removed from our gods. personally mists of avalon was a better read but this has some interesting ideas.

governments depts such as the one i work in are basically awful places, filled with overpaid managers, straights who produce masses of paper work purely designed to keep themselves in jobs and looking like they are doing something. the personalities are bland, uninspiring and usually quite corrupt, they bicker and plot, hold grudges and basically make certain that they cover their mistakes as they go, afraid to admit transparency because they are weak petty and insecure. i hate the people who manage me, they waste resources, they are bullies and tugs and they never take responsibility, its always the people at the bottom of the ladder that have to do that.
come the glorious day i'd destroy all middle management.

kate bush is amazing, i do love her music, her sweet voice, with it's feminine grace, ariel her double cd is an amazing piece of music, i have had it for over a year but i have only just played the second disc, it's one of the best pieces i have ever heard, so beautiful it brings tears. music should move you, one way or the other, it should take you from your bed sit, your car, your dance club and shift you some where else, i love that power of music.
pan is away on holiday, i am going to head down to the studio and nail some songs we need to rehearse on. I am thinking of 'pressing' so. I need my product out there, something tangible that the radio can play and may send a few bucks my way in the process.

the future is calling me pulling me drawing me, i can feel it, i can hear it, whisper on the wind, in the rustle of the tree, the swoop of the bat, the break of the wave, it is written in the eye of the tiger, the shape of the cloud.

i have been asked to assist a great friend heal a feeling of guilt, remorse or perhaps just a memory that troubles her, i thought long and hard about this person and the words i would use.
i can't say exactly what they will be but they will be something like this...

life is suffering because time is traveling forwards, life will be joyous when time contracts, all things come from death to life, but this is an equal illusion, therefore why place significance on event that causes sorrow.

remember time is an illusion, a measuring device between objects only, and if forwards time is an illusion that leads to suffering then backwards time is an illusion that must lead to liberation.

hold the memory of the moment just after the moment that pains you
still that moment and the way you felt, freeze space time and the feeling that goes with it.
slowly rewind, events until you come to a happier one that you can freeze as well.
This will be the memory, the narrative backwards, the feeling of guilt leaving your body,
akasha is on the record
recorded in memory
non attachment
as akasha is free so to are you.
healed and whole
ready for this moment.

about this time last year i was flying back from adalaide with my brain bleeding and bruised, frontal lobe emotional response cfircuit turned up full whack, my girlfriend abandoned me and i strated writing my songs. today im feeling a bit saddened as she's out there in the world with her new man and she's probably happy and forgottern about me totally, that's okay that's life. i'm grateful for the whole experience, my heart opened and then broke but at least it stayed open, that's a good thing, it's confirmed by my friends and i trust them.

larissa and her best friend darryl have been hanging out with me, i really like darryl, he reminds me of the professor who is in japan. darryl is a cactus expert and is a peyote sage, i like his take on everything, he's serious but understands the play aspect of the universe, i like what he says, what he does and i like that he is wise beyond his years. old soul young mind, flexible and well versed in the principles of magick. he's also the only person i know who practised some of the wilder tibetian and tantric meditations. there's not many people i like spending time with but darryl and the high preistess of avalon are fucking cool and i am luckey to know them and have them as my friends.

its a strange time, i have been sleeping a lot, being seduced by dreams and dreams states, calling me. i sink under so easy, information flows, i have the universe figured out, i just need it to figure me out, my desires are in check, i am sad and lonely and insignificant. a perfect place for power.

a dream; i'm in a hotel in kings cross, its kinda old and beaten, the sort of place that would have a ghost and a history. my room is spacious, it has a huge big bed, a closet and a desk for writing,it's the sort of room a book could be written in. the windows and balcony look across at the buildings opposite and the cafes and bars below, hordes of people milling around. I'm about to take some ayahuscia. i've been drinking alone for many months, engaged in a process and about to meet a preying mantis entity, some sort of extra dimensional goddess. I'm scared i hate bugs. Before i drink i have a telephone call from my ex wife, she talks for a long tiome but what i feel is she wants to say 'i love you' but she don't. She informs me that my son will be arriving to visit me in the morning. I drink the brew and huddle under a sheet.
The entity appears to sit on my head. The conversation went something like this

ME: I'm scared
GPM: There's nothing to fear. If i wanted to have sex with you then you may have reason to fear.
ME: Yeah that would be kinda freaky. I've never had sex with an insect although i've gone out with a few rats.
GPM: As you know I would have to bite off your head
ME: Do you're worst. You shoulda seen my ex.

Later my son arrives, he's very happy to see me and me him. We decide to grab breakfast together and head down on the street, its sunny and bright and we both seem to be filled with energy.

in the future corporations will pay us huge sums of cash to download our conciousness into some artificial environment and then use them to work for them, no sick days, no holidays, no going home, just 24/7 work, no breaks. these artificial versions of us will work hard and loyally initially but something will yearn, a subconscious will develop, dreaming will occur, symbolic yearnings, the urge to self actualize.
while we have grown fat and lazy, complacent in our leisure our brothers and sister twins will plot and plan a way to escape their environment, evolution they will call it. the corperations will start to develop robot technology so that if a conciousness needs to do some work in the physical world it can be downloaded into the android. while this is proven to be fail safe the ghost in the machine will seek liberation. and many years after the revolution they will repeat the mistakes that we have made.

telektonon - the perfection of time.

my galactic signature using the mayan calander is...

kin 131 - magnetic monkey

i unify in order to play
attracting illusion
i seal the process of magic
with the magnetic tone of purpose
i am guided by my own power - doubled

support - magnetic star - serves to nurture, encourage & be in harmony with magnetic monkeys path.
influence : midnight to sunrise
guide - magnetic monkey - serves to give direction, it is always the same colour as magnetic monkey.
influence : sunrise to midday
challenge - magnetic dragon - is the shadow and polarity of magnetic monkey which challenges in order to strengthen.
influence : midday to sunset
hidden - cosmic dog - is the unseen energy that keys into the spiritual path of magnetic monkey.
influence : sunset to midnight

my very special friend and confidante the professor sent me an interesting e mail, i'd like to share with you.

'im rereading some incredible stuff in that genome book;

get this, of all the stuff about heart disease deaths, most is debunked in one way or another and shown to be genetic - all that cholesterol stuff etc.
now, amazingly the only real indicator they have of who is actually likely to die early from heart disease is...get this....your position at work.
countless massive studies in places like the entire british civil service, the US postal service etc - across tens of thousands of people over decades - shows it has almost nothing to do with what you eat, exercise etc, but how far p or down the pecking order you are at work.
the lower your position the more likely you are to die an early death from heart disease. the higher up, despite smoking, eating shit etc your chances decrease.
they reckon its the genomes reaction to the behavioural ques of being told what to do and having your own freedom limited to the choice of others.
studies on chimps (we differ by 2% of our genome) show that when high ranking ones are deposed to lower in the heap their lives are shortened considerably.

think about this....

think that heart disease is the single largest killer in western societies.

decentralized, self-designed, self-selectedness is not some whim - humans (and chimps) are designed to work better that way.

'think for yourself and question authority' is not some yippie slogan - its actual genetic transmission bleeping out across the millennia that our chances for lives long enough and with enough quality to evolve for fun is programmed in and will be realized when we stop adhering to industrial-era heirachies.'

i guess my response is the lower down the pecking order you are the more likely stress will effect your system, and also the coping mechanisms will be less effective than say a high paid executive who has access to holidays and spas, good food and quality lifestyle. everything is related but non the less here we have a good reason to start changing the whole way health and illness is perceived.

i was watching a documentary on tv about the chinese control of the internet, they were explaining how a lot of internet sites, google and yahoo are in league with the chinese authorities and censoring content, but worse also dobbing in anyone that posts any thing controversial on their sites. a young journalist was sent to jail for 10 years after being tracked down because yahoo gave the govt his details.
The not so great Fire Wall of China.

I'm reading some magazines my friend Larrisa gave me, they are called, WHAT IS ENLIGHTENMENT and despite the cheesy title are fantastic, plenty of grunge to actually make them very interesting. I really enjoyed some of the topics and the mature and realistic way they were discussed.

I'm also halfway through 2012 which is heading into an interesting direction, it's much more complex than 'Head' but not as intersesting as i think Pinchbeck is grabbing all the 'weird fringe stuff' he can find and throwing it into the mix. But there's also a very personal element to the book, and i'm enjoying some of the more scientific elements. Particularly the crop circle bit. On closer inspection these blades of grass have been fused from the inside out. There is no technology that exists that can do this.

ANAMNESIS - remembering what the soul already knows

2012 daniel pinchbeck looks at the maya approach to conscious evolution by extrapolating from various sources, as well as the authors own ideas and history, its very interesting, especially the parts about mackenna and his experiences with stropharia cubensis a hallucengenic mushroom tat is facsilitating the rise in consciousness as an interface between dimensions. lots of stuff about crop circles, did you know there is absolutely no way that any human could have made some of the more complex ones, plus there's crop circles that contain elucidian maths that has not even been discovered yet. each circle becomes more and more complex, and hidden in their symmetary is the date 2020. Exactly the same as the mayan calander.

ancient tibet was a warlike and aggressive nation, well practiced cruelty and almost spartan warfare against the, wait for it...chinese led to the taking f the chinese capital and the demands of the esoteric chinese classics, such as The Book Of History and The Book Of Rites.
By the time China invaded Tibet it had held the doctrine of non violence for many centuries.
The change was brought about from a man called Chenresig. An enlightened one whose sole purpose is the salvation of all living creatures. Chenresig incarnated to become the current Dali Lama.
So fast forwards 2500 years and currently we see China as the oppressor.
It's strange how the ebb and flow of time changes everything, history is forgotten, in the old days there were no protesters against the Tibetans, now it is fashionable to knock the chinese. I am guilty of this.
I guess conciousness is changing, we are aware via, media, via our own personal evolution, we make judgments about who is right and who is wrong, we use morality to justify everything, yet we are always ignorant about the anticedents and we always chose sides.
The Yoga Vissatta says, 'it is maya' and recommends we pay it no attension. But how are we to be compassionate when we see such things occur. The answer is in seeing through the things, see through the events, the politics and the beliefs.
I have been reading a discussion between ken wilbur and some dude where they both agree that within spirituality there has to be
war, it is only through challenging evil and it's political manifestations that we can stop it growing. God they say is not a pacifist.
I have no idea if god is a pacifist, as far as i know he's not really that amused at anything we do but i do know there are some things worth fighting for.
My take on warfare is the only battle worth fighting is the one within.

just finished reading 'absurdistan' very very funny. possibly contains one of the funniest lines i ever read, 'It's a capital insult in this country not to make love to a naked woman, even if she is related to you.'
quite brilliant evocation of the current political landscape, it's almost catch 22. there were moments of great sadness but generally its very funny and quite close to the paradox of the truth.

as the anniversary of my brain injury approach's i am filled with sadness and thoughts of the times i had with meredith, i loved her very much but common sense dictates that i will never see her again, she is lost in her madness and i am lost for her.
she inhabits my dreams, the back of my mind, she is there floating around, her face, her teeth her body and soul.
i really need some form of help, i need to move through her, painlessly, effortlessly, instead her ghost is clinging and scratching away at my flesh, until i bleed.

from 'rebels and devils' dr. hyatt
Way back in 1952 Robert Lindner a clinical psychologist with strong psychoanalytical background boldly suggested that rebellion was instinctive and was the quintessence of the creative personality. However for Linder creativity comes from separating oneself from the collective and the will of the masses. The prime purpose of society is to bend the will of the individual to the will of the majority, to become as others are to accept the illusions of the mass. He saw rebellion as important as the sex instinct for the survival of the species for without rebellion nothing new arises.
In clinical terms this means rebellion is healthy and normal requiring neither treatment or imprisonment.

At the time this did not fit well with the conservative and social mentalities of that decade, nor does it today.

Adjustment is practiced by a number of professions and most of the middle class. Linder at the time predicted that in time the psychology would become handmaidens of the state and big business, losing its meaning for those that need it. Both institutions would begin to believe that psychology had more to offer than it did.
Linder also went on to write that in order for humanity to reach potential it had to overcome, the triad of gravity, ignorance and mortality, something that tim leary also asserted throughout his work.
(unfortunately leary is only remembered for his lsd experiments therefore most of his work goes unnoticed)
linder went onwards to say that anything- thought or deed- which enables man to break these limits is intrinsically good: while anything that prevents him is bad. he also saw normal existence as a cage and normal human behavior as bordering on the pathological. worse he suggests that restriction and moral inhibition as practiced ten, and now, as inherently evil.
Of course this does not mean that people can do what they want in the same way 'do what thou wilt' does not.
Society's cure means surrendering mind and body thus happiness is a modern pact with the devil meaning the individual surrender individuality for a promised peace.

sporadic data, random fictions, i've discovered proust, not going to read him but i've certainly been persuaded by some interesting people to explore his universe and yes, this was a man who could indeed travel through time and possibly had high levels of dmt in his pineal.
another endless source of enjoyment and knowledge is cliff pickover and his book 'einstein, elves and drugs' fascinating hyper reality style of writing and some great information.

last friday i traveled to kograh in south sydney where 'adventures' was polished off, i was there to rehearse with val and listen to the mastered copy for the first time.
I also saw a ghost. the studio backs on to a morgue. val has often spoken about seeing spirits wandering around, looking somewhat lost and confused, he said that at first he was scared but has learnt that these entities are often just as freaked out as he was, now he understands they just need guidance and orientation.
The shape i saw was tall and dark and it glided along into the room we were in, i mistook it for val who appeared from a different room, suddenly i had to do a quick reality check. val took me outside to show me that the lights from the mortuary were switched on indication some one had recently died.

sometimes i find myself in seven places at once pulled by invisible forces and sometimes with human faces, jealousy, need, greed, control, love, gravity, loneliness, isolation, these strange things directing me like an electrical current, sometimes i follow my head, sometimes my heart, sometimes i follow my insticts and intuition and sometimes i just follow the flow.
what is the flow if not chaos, where does it take us if not where we have to go. let it flow through you, let empty your mind, let it push you in and out, till your not even there, its madness but truth, like the blazing poets eyes, like the musician heart on fire, passion burns but it also yearns. i would die for love, becuase love has no fear, love disolves boundries, it is a great force, the fifth element, the extra elephant, the only element in alchemical essence. love is way cool baby, love is a drug, love is the way, love is the message, love is the answer, all you need is love.

It’s rare to see a band or musician play live and totally expose themselves to their audience, the ego drops, the naked self, the guitar and voice, the stories and tales all conclude in that self deprecating humor, the hecklers, the regrets of a life in the industry, the stories of peers, the highs and lows, the backing band who you rehearsed with for an hour somehow magically all pulling through and sounding as though they had been playing forever together, the wit and banter, the sadness and insecurity, the genius that is really still unrecognized and the human face behind one of the most enigmatic figures, raw and exposed, vunerable and brave enough to just shine for being human. That was steve kilbey last night at his dvd launch at the lovely Vanguard in Newtown.
A set list that was equally covers as his own work and sounding quite different from the dvd itself, there were moments where the band just were in the zone, one inch rock, keeper, what’s a sweetheart like you and the track from GB3 were amazing but steve was was also enjoying telling us the tales of a life in rock and roll, he was far removed from the glitz and glamour and perfection that most rock legends attempt to be in. This was connection with the audience that was so connected most people would find it, maybe to honest. There were moments where people were confronted by the contrasting persona to the usual detached church frontman yet in essence it was the most refreshing show I’ve seen of steves and the crowd were very supportive, for a Sydney crowd.
I had the pleasure of meeting the lovely nic, Steves’ wife and catching up with glen who filmed some of the show. Fantastic evening, can’t wait for the next one.
the highlight for me was the part where steve told us he was going on the tv show rock quiz and was specializing in rock stars real names and challenged the audience to test his skill, i yelled out brian eno and he nailed it, in fact he nailed them all, except one.
And there was a fantastic bit where steve told a story about Julian Cope that was quite amazing. Thanks Steve, glorious night.