so very busy as time slips away under my feet through my toes and fingers, can't seem to hold on to it at all, the days pass through nights, the nights seem lost in the dreamscapes of other realms, everywhere i'm a tourist. sleep is a station and i've missed a few stops pulled this way and that, demands from people, money is a burden, everyone wants something from me and that's okay, i don't really seek anything but they should recognise me and acknowledge my part in their result. this annoys me, so many people racking in the clams yet i seem to be the one doing all the work. i get phone calls on my days off, i get called in for meetings. yet my own needs are unmet, i need certain things, material objects, a working computer would be a start, i need money, to pay my ever increasing debt, i need time which is a precious resource, however i am writing, i am creating and i am getting some objectives met so all is not lost.
in fact to counter my trails is a wonderful tribulation. it means something to me anyway, a few months ago i decided to buy a ticket to london, via stockholm so i could see my dad and son. i chose various stop overs to break up the flight, finland, singapore etc, but the day i arrive in london the church play their one and only london show. my brother has acquired a ticket for me, and then the morning i return to sydney the church play the same evening. i just picked up a pre-sale ticket. 
now this is probably not such a big deal to you humble reader of blog, but for me it's incredible. it's definite proof of higher powers, it means life has meanings and is beautiful and whatever you are going through do not despair, for there is always some light at the end of the tunnels.