somewhere in my life lies perfection, i fuck up lots of normal activities due to my need to deconstruct everything and pull it apart, i mean there's no point in believing in a false god, an idol when there's a real one. i don't accept politics, left or right unless it embraces the individuals right to self determination. all memes need to be analytically and critically broken down until their essential truth is revealed and lets face it we are then left with a lie. the only aspect which works for me are the non dualities, love and art, and then even those can be deconstructed into various values if one desires, ultimately everything is flawed. in my life there are a few things that offer some reward. i guess the obvious one is my son whom i can honestly say is a fine example of a human being and somehow through all the hurdles i got that bit right. the other  are my friends, three or four but i couldn't ask for a better group of people around me. my books, i love my books, i like the fact that some one put in so much effort and work, blood sweat and probably tears to write something that connected with me, so i love my books as there's something perfect in most of them. then there's the church whom i have followed from the moment i first heard them, and i saw them last night playing at the zoo.
a perfect venue, behind them sydney lit up like a movie set, spectacular and beautiful and yeah, it's an aesthetic wonderland.
the animals are sleeping but the elephants stir as the music travels through the earth up through their feet, those big floppy ears tune in, they dig this sound, steve's base notes flow like space jazz groove, elephants have been waiting for this, tim's magnificent powerful and yet intricate drums call out to them, like the beat of the jungle, the beat of planets in transit, the beat of ancient systems and intelligence. seals get frisky as the sound of those guitars, and the birds sit hidden in trees watching and grooving along to these songs, songs they will remember and one day imitate in homage to this night.
and somewhere the tigers and jaguars, the panthers and lions listen to the words, they loll around king beasts of their respective domains enjoying the poetry of words that constitute the church.
and me, i'm right at the back with wild child, we are listening avidly, watching steven move like a shaman, yes he has the moves and dance routine perfecto, like a performance artist stepping into many dimensions while we listen and dance filled with something i would say feels like pride but is joy. 
the church are at their best, i imagine they will get better, i imagine they will shock us all and awe us all as their music takes on new forms and the band re-imagines itself, pushes further into the space rock frontier, takes us where very few musicians in the industry can go, beyond. 
i think it's sad that these performances are not documented but it also feels okay that they are not, it makes the event special, it makes the music transient in the very buddhist ideal that nothing is permanent. plus it offers something i learnt that i value greatly from steve and his relation to his muse and that is 'devotion.' 
i don't think there's been a figure in my life whom has influenced me as much as steve, william burroughs perhaps, both seemed to have the ability to transcend three dimensional space time with their arts. i think that's something valuable and i am eternally grateful.
wild child wants to go say hi after the show, but i am reluctant, i don't want to intrude, i imagine they want to get away, i imagine that they are exhausted and have heaps on their plate, children that need tucking in, pets that need feeding, sleep that needs meeting. i can see wild child is torn, 'go,' i'll wait here, but she decides not to and we start that arduous haul up the hill to the exit where who do we meet, steve and co. he yells out, and we cross paths in a very warm generous affirming hug.
priest = aura, metropolis, ripple, destination, reptile, milky way, you took, almost with you, unguarded moment, space saviour, grind and more, what more can a man ask for. 
i ended up living in sydney, it was kinda all by accident, chance, randomness, it was the church that somehow brought me here, and i've been lucky enough to see almost every show they play in sydney over the last 23 years. if i looked back in my life at all the joys, i think the church would be multiple entries and then some of the solo side projects. why do they mean so much to me i wonder, after all it's only rock and roll?
i think it's just the intention, it hits me like an arrow hitting a target. what does that mean? i don't know but i'm glad of it. why settle for a lesser band when the church exist. i don't see other bands, i have no idea what they play on radios or tv shows, i have lot's of music at home, but apart from the church i play kate bush, these days that's where it all ends and begins in music. how strange. 
later we meet kate away and the three of us wander off into newtown for chocolate drinks and a debrief, it's a brilliant evening, really one of these evenings where life feels perfect despite all the kicks and punches i seem to have taken the last 12 months, i can go down happy knowing i have seen perfection in gods creation channelled through four guys making music and writing words. if that's not a church i don't know what is.