sunrise on the highways, heading towards the ocean, conflicting light crashing the angles, cars everywhere littering the sleeping suburban vistas, toast burns, kettles boil, wife's and husbands fake the daily grind, cars reverse from driveways and we hurdle down like hunter s thompson and his attorney high on venusian lsd and afghan porcupine spikes, some horrid songs pouring from the radio, a splattering of clouds dissipate in the fast forwards. i'm wrestling with my thoughts, strung out on sleeplessness and chocolate bars dipped in coffee, can't stop talking about the theory of unpredictability versus planks constant when i catch the look on my comrades face, he's bitten through his lip, blood streams down his face and his eyes are like frozen plates on a stick.

'hey man, breath.' i say, while i light up another porcupine spike.

he tries to say something but it comes out sounding all distorted, 'um... fra... faa... zeze... mmmm.'

i turn the radio off and lean back, palm trees are whacking past my head, i put on my rose coloured sunglasses and laugh as one of these suckers offers me a coconut drink, i wash the porcupine spike down with the sweet juice.

we've ended up in miami, beautiful girls in bikinis wander along the beach front, waving, i'm wearing a bright red shirt and a panama hat, my companion is pulling the suitcases from the boot of the car, he's searching through them, chucking clothes onto the floor, 'grtta mmmeeeanti dodo.'

clothes, books and drug paraphernalia fly through the air onto the beach.

i lean in and masterfully grab a book from his big paws, 'hey, not my necronomicon, it's the only copy on the planet.'

'shhh..udd, sss...mon...ppp sssuuummm..,ssser..day it eee.'

suddenly he jumps upwards and a contorted smile breaks across his ugly face, he' found what he was looking for a fur glove, he slips it over his hand and strokes his face, running the back of his hand gently across his cheek.

the sky is electric blue, like a photo shopped postcard, it's far to hot for days like these, and it's not even morning really. across the street some uniforms are looking in our direction, i get a flash of some police brutality, clubs, handcuffs, a can of mace, a young law enforcer whacks the legs of a pregnant woman and watches her fall, while her husband is screaming they laugh and hold him back at gunpoint. i start to feel uneasy.

'get the gear, lets go.'

while he throws the stuff back in the boot in a kind of arbitrary chaotic manner the narcs start to move in slowly and indiscreetly.

i get the engine started and start to crawl forwards, 'come on, let's get outta here.'

some guns are waved around and my attorney waves at me dismissively and walks to confront the narcs. my options are running down the funnel of choice, i see them sink into a dark vortex, they aint coming back sister. i reach for another porcupine spike but then this shouting and hysterics shocks me into action, my foot hovers over the accelerator and i hear some kerfuffle, the back door opens and something seems to fill the space, i can make, 'shhh...lllzzz...ggotttagonnna.'

my foot hits the accelerator and the hot stink of tyre rubber burning is left behind as we zoom away to the thrill of the beautiful bimbos and observers that flank our sides. i peer into the mirror, it's the police woman, he's kidnapped the fucking policewoman, but she don't look worried, she don't look distressed at all, in fact she's kissing my attorney like a cheap mexican whore, her hands wander all over his body and she's already saying things to him that make me blush as he strokes her with his gloved hand. then she leans forwards and in the most politest of voices asks for a porcupine spike, i toss her a few and try not to look in the mirror, in the distance sirens wail. i take a winding route through the old city, zig zagging my way until we reach the southern highway. we have a full tank of fuel, i have my sunglasses and am sucking down some coconut water. i switch on the cd player and the rolling stones play. 'waiting on a friend' and when that juicy fat sax starts up, the sun setting behind us, the warm night kicking down tomorrow, the clear road ahead i start laughing and wonder if freedom always felt so good as i forget what i have remembered to leave behind. 

at a motel i leave my attorney with his new flame and i drive to the desert looking for the hopi tribe. i pull up outside the reservation and then have to exchange some pleasantries with a sentinel who seems concerned that i may not offer the kind of respect an american tourist would, 'hey i'm a fucking gentleman let me in, i come bearing the gift of the afghan porcupine spine.'

well like magick words the porcupine spines open all doorways and i hand over my bundle to the sentinel who appears all friendly and welcoming now, as he points to a large hut with a few candles burning on the porch and a couple of goats ties up to a pole. i wander in. the chief is known as happy but it's not him i'm interested in, it's the medicine man, miguel who sits buy the chiefs side inspecting the bundle of spines. how did that happen?

teleportation i guess, these hopi peoples know all sorts of voodoo.

so medicine man is preparing me for ceremonial visionary questing, i have to take a steam clean and then be bathed by the women and then put on ceremonial robes and imbued with oils and smothered in some strange smelling cream. 

in the small tent i sit opposite the medicine man, he's enjoying the porcupine spikes and i think ive pleased him as he can't stop grinning, and occasional little giggles escape his strange looking face, kinda cross between an oriental stand up comedian kung fu expert like jackie chan and winnie the pooh. he's enjoying the spikes, he has thee sticking out his mouth.

i drink the potion he has made, sticky black stuff, molasses, it even tastes great. 

i was waiting for the stuff to kick in, my mind was slowing down, my body relaxing for the first time in days, i felt clean and safe. i'd heard about these hopi dudes on the radio, they were interviewing a professor about their calendar and mystical beliefs, these hopi folks sounded switched on and in touch with some cosmic intelligence. they also had a very defined understanding of the reincarnation process, which was where my interest lay. for i needed certain information about the nature of my life, it was spiralling out of control addicted to the porcupine spikes and various nefarious activities that were taking me into edges of the universe i was growing bored with, there's only so any dimensions a man can walk down.

i had no idea why or what was driving me but it was a self destructive force and i no longer felt comfortable in my own shoes, i was loosing interest in the people around me, their activities bored me as did our pursuits, i required the only thing left for a man to desire, the only satisfying fix, the truth.

hedonistic pursuits were not the answer, in fact they were distracting my quest, mind expansion worked to a certain degree, and magick had taken me to a far point where things made a strange elusive sense but in the most abstract ways.

i felt my body numb. the face of the shaman leers and distorted itself and he chanted some words of power and i felt myself sinking or was it shrinking, or growing, down the rabbit hole.

i was in the wrong body, that was the first thought, i'd incarnated into the wrong body, a body of a woman was actually what i was after, some one sexy and smart, a kind an embodiment of the feminine but with a black belt in karate or tai chi, i wanted a theoretical physicist who knew how to load a glock, i wanted to be a witch who also runs a major corporation.
i could see her as she came towards me her long hair in a sort of wind funnel flow, her skin white and soft, her lips red like flames and her cheeks aglow, then it changed and she was carrying an egg, she held it in cupped hands and passed it to me, i looked into her eyes and she began to fade, the egg started cracking, and a dragon appeared. it was small and covered in purple and black scales, it had a classic fantasy dragon look except it was tiny and brighter than i would have thought, it had the most beautiful eyes, soft and gentle, intelligent. i placed it before me and watched its exquisite beauty, my heart started to beat as it began to transform. now the dragon became a man, it happened so fast as if i had transcended time, the environment seemed to dissipate and change, morphing around me into a ever mutable landscape, sometimes natural, trees, oceans, deserts and sometimes man made, cities, small villages, large monuments erected to deities and astrological significance, sometimes the peripherals just appeared a single colour but most of the time my attention was concentrated upon the activities before me, the man was me. it was identical in almost every way except it was slightly leaner, slightly more healthier and vibrancy aura, less jaded and with a softer edge. the other me was smiling and his teeth were in much better condition than mine.

he was talking, and i had to attune my ears to listen, 'it's just a simple formula, you're very close to getting it but your not quite there, you have to offer the light to receive it, offer the

light captain mission.'

suddenly all was black and i floated in a cloud of octopus ink, warm and naked, like a baby, and my thoughts had ceased and my body seemed to be absent, and my will was gone and i was dead.

awoke to the harsh sound of birds, crows, they sat around my body, one upon my chest looking at me with his eye, head tilted to one side. 

'we have returned you. learn yoga, meditate upon nothingness, seek no answer, ask no question, discipline your inquiry through discipline of your body, your mind is free but your body is a cage, eat only that which sustains, love well, over power the darkness with your light, offer the light unto the darkness, peace, harmony, love....' and onwards it went, spiritual truths, hundreds from all traditions, all pointing to the same things, in the end it was one single noise, an AUM, droning onwards out into the stratosphere and beyond and soon the space was filled with alien beings who had tuned into this vibration knowing that there was intelligent life on earth and that earth transmitted ths message into the galaxy, and the AUM was heard throughout creation and the universe was alive with it's sound and then it spoke back, and i understood everything, everything.

i stood up in the desert sun, my suit was drenched in sweat and sandy dust and i had lost my boots, my face felt dry but my body, my body was everywhere, i was in everything, my body moved but i seemed to be watching it, from all angles, i watched and inside i felt a great understanding and love, it beat out of my energy system, like a rainbow, colour explosion, it was magnificent but i could also feel it, i was feeling it from outside myself, and from other things, small animals, bugs, a few shrubs, a lone crow above. i was transmitting and receiving, knowing myself for the first time. i was liberated and set free, yet i still understood the paradox of existence lays in separation, and i could feel the bodies desires begin to tempt me back, a hunger for a porcupine stick, some cool refrigerated place where i could shower and shave and get out of these clothes, a nice bed to sleep on, a meal. the sorrow of separation was as real as the unification,and buddha's words 'life is suffering' rang true to me, and i laughed as i walked into the desert to meet the temptress, for i knew what i have to do and i forgave them for they did not know, they could not know, the magickal path is the only path that will lead towards some sort of liberation but it is only when it is reached not used that one is liberated, true power is the will not to use it, for magick delivers you to a doorway and only becomes real when you are non attached to it as you would be any other construct within the universe, in fact the goal of magick is the same as mysticism. crowley knew this in his friend allen bennett aka mahatera phang, that's why everyone looked to him with total respect and love. i was smiling as i walked into the night, ready to meet the devil himself, but that's for tomorrow.