i start a new chapter at work, a new boss, finally someone i respect. i'm burnt out, thinking about leaving, offers rolling in, but i'm hanging in there, not really sure why and now the tide is shifting. 
i finished reading a novel yesterday, the main character is a young teenager, he witnesses something terrible and it effects him for the rest of his life. later he is haunted by pictures of stick figures drawn in chalk. it's a mystery and as we read each chapter reveals something. but the ending is far to dramatic for me, the twist is intense but just not english enough to match the plot, it's more american. however, in the final chapter we discover something about the main character that even he does not know. i liked that. that was the english bit. 
usually i prefer american writers.
they build a house next door to me, that means lots of machinery diggers, sawing and noise. no privacy. i wake early and return at dusk, there are tree trunks everywhere. it looks obscene, a crime against nature. i hate the slow destruction, incrementally humans eat nature. one day it will turn upon them. 
i sigh and watch with heavy heart and great sadness the death of the trees i have grown to love. 
doors are opening and closing, it's life's little moments, sliding doors, choices, alternative universes. i slid into one and it's opposite appears. i think the glass is half full but discover it empty. 
a call from out of the blue, bad news travels fast, head seems to throb like vast energies about to explode. i listen for a while to the voice at the end, a girl i know. she's droning on and i loose my temper. i wake up in the shopping market, a bottle of coconut water in my hands. i'm dealing with intrusion. it's spilling into my illusions. she's squawking about a psychopath we know. many years ago he hunted me down but i escaped, only to find he had joined forces with other psychopaths. 
they had the power and they sucked up into their dark energies all my powers, left me weak and vulnerable  one thing i have learnt is when you come across a psychopath in life, leave them alone. so i did. i left them all and now she's come back to remind me.
'but he's a psychopath' she wails.
'yeah i know. you had your chance but you were all cowards.'
'we are all scared of him,'
'that's what psychopaths do.' 
i end the conversation, i'm upset and need a drink. that glass was half full i think, now it's fucking empty.