it's the sad days for a while here at mission control. i'm mourning you. i can't even eat (which may be a good thing) i need a big bag of weed for this one, while i comprehend this loss and this effect upon my very soul.

i know it will pass in some slow time and i know you would not wish me to stay in one place to long. 

i had a beautiful e mail from my father. it said, 'i know you must be heartbroken, he was your hero. god bless him.'

my old man! that's gotta make you laugh, he was always yelling at me to take that wretched ziggy stardust off the turntable so he could play his trini lopez albums ha, i bet that makes you smile. it was simple and heartfelt i guess but it was my mother that really surprised me a few days later when i finally spoke to her, she said, 'he was so much part of your life we feel like we have lost a son.'

my mum said that!

she reminded me how my room was filled with posters of you. i can't remember that, i know i had one massive 'low' poster but then my memory does have a few leaks.

this is a different kind of loss for me because i don't want to let you go just yet, i wanna keep hold of this moment in time and it's influence but a few days ago i wrote some words about light from the sun, and how it is a few minutes old by the time it hits the earth. it's the light from the past that enables us to perceive and motivate in the present and prepare for a future. so while i try to let you go, i'm going to embrace the light you left me and try to look for a better tomorrow. i know that's what you would want me to do so i'll just take this moment... to say... farewell, my hero.