xmas is always a lonely time for me, so over the last few years i spend it with lonely people, which makes it kinda special. but i feel cynical sometimes about the commercial aspects of it all. it's a festival of consumption, consumerism and capitalism at it's worst and there's something horribly corrupt with it when people are miserable. and there's far to many miserable people on earth, most with good reason. if it's not politics its religion that enslaves. 
i give up with all of them, none of them can help us. it's up to us as individuals to save ourselves by saving some one who can't. help them, assist them, care for them acknowledge, understand and love them. 
until everybody must get saved. i guess that's my idea of jesus, a man who saved other's and sacrificed his own self. it's mythological, through the eons. a pattern at the heart of all things where man is at war with himself. there's that fantastic story by andy weir where he writes that all individuals in the universe are you, the individual in different incarnations, living out their life. we are not all the same, we are the same. i often wonder how long it will take before we get there, that ideas end point, where everyone is conscious in their own universe. does it extend to all animal life and was i living the life of my lizard?
i'm not really at that endpoint if that is indeed the universe i live in. i'm so far away but i try hard anyway even if it's just some idea. it's not because i believe in it, it just is not a bad idea.