its been an emotional few days, i'm shattered and worn out, burnt like an over cooked slice of whole grain that got stuck in an over enthusiastic toaster and is now just a shrivelled up slice of carbon being wedged out with a bent knife by a frustrated hungry man with a toothache and short fuse. well that's how it feels.
the bad news came from the man himself and it appears as though the days are numbered for the only band that matters anymore. it's not the lifestyle, the long hours, egos and clash of ideas over musical direction, it's the years and years of financial mismanagement of being ripped off by record labels. imagine this, the church received $100 each for a years royalties.
how does that work? i'm not any good at arithmetic, can't balance my own books to save my skin but i know something is amiss at stats like this, hundred dollars is what, four cd sales, maybe eight at most. now the church can't have sold 8 x 4 cds over the year, that includes back catalogue.  
some where down the line someone has made a terrible mistake or someone is ripping off the band and by proxy us, the fans, it's a terrible injustice, terrible. these guys really do deserve the big bucks, they stake everything on their music, and i know they struggle with bills and rent and stuff just like everyone else, they work hard and deliver a product that is top shelf quality. it irks me so much, it's a crime against humanity and it's niggling away in the pit of my guts, even as i surfed in the ice cold cube water this morning, still and calm, one wave every hour, i found no joy, even as i drove a car filled with goji berries through raging bush fire on the central coast along a winding road listening to 'back with two beasts' smoking a spliff i was not quite right in my centre, and even when i returned back to mission control to write, all that came out was this sad terrible idea that the church will come to an end. i don't want this to happen, for the most selfish of reasons.