she decided she wanted a proper relationship, she said she wanted a future and i'm bereft of a future. i could have argued with her but in many ways she was correct, my future with her was void, we were just operating on some mutual orgasm drive, the idea of talking about anything meaningful would have just a short conversation. we had no other future, it was true. but we had a good wave. two good waves, then a wipe out. 
i don't mind wipe outs as long as it's clean, everyone feels okay about everything and there's no deceit. i'm complex but honest. so we hugged and walked away. sexy wave.

Hail to the Element of Hydrogen
Hail to the Element of Helium
Hail to the Element of Lithium
Hail to the Element of Beryllium
Hail to the Element of Boron
Hail to the Element of Carbon
Hail to the Element of Nitrogen
Hail to the Element of Oxygen
Hail to the Element of Fluorine
Hail to the Element of Neon
Hail to the Element of Sodium
Hail to the Element of Magnesium
Hail to the Element of Aluminium
Hail to the Element of Silicon
Hail to the Element of Phosphorus
Hail to the Element of Sulphur
Hail to the Element of Chlorine
Hail to the Element of Argon
Hail to the Element of Potassium
Hail to the Element of Calcium
Hail to the Element of Scandium
Hail to the Element of Titanium
Hail to the Element of Vanadium
Hail to the Element of Chromium
Hail to the Element of Manganese
Hail to the Element of Iron
Hail to the Element of Cobalt
Hail to the Element of Nickel
Hail to the Element of Copper
Hail to the Element of Zinc
Hail to the Element of Gallium
Hail to the Element of Germanium
Hail to the Element of Arsenic
Hail to the Element of Selenium
Hail to the Element of Bromine
Hail to the Element of Krypton
Hail to the Element of Rubidium
Hail to the Element of Strontium
Hail to the Element of Yttrium
Hail to the Element of Zirconium
Hail to the Element of Niobium
Hail to the Element of Molybdenum
Hail to the Element of Technetium
Hail to the Element of Ruthenium
Hail to the Element of Rhodium
Hail to the Element of Palladium
Hail to the Element of Silver
Hail to the Element of Cadmium
Hail to the Element of Indium
Hail to the Element of Tin
Hail to the Element of Antimony
Hail to the Element of Tellurium
Hail to the Element of Iodine
Hail to the Element of Xenon
Hail to the Element of Caesium
Hail to the Element of Barium
Hail to the Element of Lanthanum
Hail to the Element of Cerium
Hail to the Element of Praseodymium
Hail to the Element of Neodymium
Hail to the Element of Promethium
Hail to the Element of Samarium
Hail to the Element of Europium
Hail to the Element of Gadolinium
Hail to the Element of terbium
Hail to the Element of Dysprosium
Hail to the Element of Holmium
Hail to the Element of Erbium
Hail to the Element of Thulium
Hail to the Element of Ytterbium
Hail to the Element of Lutetium
Hail to the Element of Hafnium
Hail to the Element of tantalum
Hail to the Element of Tungsten
Hail to the Element of Rhenium
Hail to the Element of Osmium
Hail to the Element of Iridium
Hail to the Element of Platinum
Hail to the Element of Gold
Hail to the Element of Mercury
Hail to the Element of Thallium
Hail to the Element of lead
Hail to the Element of Bismuth
Hail to the Element of Polonium
Hail to the Element of Astatine
Hail to the Element of radon
Hail to the Element of Radium
Hail to the Element of Francium
Hail to the Element of Actinium
Hail to the Element of Thorium
Hail to the Element of Protactinium
Hail to the Element of Uranium
Hail to the Element of Neptunium
Hail to the Element of Plutonium
Hail to the Element of Americium
Hail to the Element of Curium
Hail to the Element of Berkelium
Hail to the Element of californium
Hail to the Element of Einsteinium
Hail to the Element of Fermium
Hail to the Element of Mendelevium
Hail to the Element of Nobelium
Hail to the Element of Lawrencium
Hail to the Element of Rutherfordium
Hail to the Element of Dubnium
Hail to the Element of Seaborgium
Hail to the Element of Bohrium
Hail to the Element of Hassium
Hail to the Element of Meitnerium
Hail to the Element of Darmstadtium
Hail to the Element of Roentgenium
Hail to the Element of Copernicium
Hail to the Element of Ununtrium
Hail to the Element of Flerovium
Hail to the Element of Ununpentium
Hail to the Element of Livermorium
Hail to the Element of Ununseptium
Hail to the Element of Ununoctium
Hail to the Element of Captain Mission

oh to be in arizona, the big sky, the lost horizon. all that space to soak up. my bones felt good. i fell in love with arizona. the erotic colour of the sun, the the tex mex groove, experimental women, the lovely contrast between inside and out.
there's nothing quite as beautiful as contemplating your navel under the stars in arizona, following some time slip into a past life when the west was still a frontier and the hopi, mojave, navaho and apaches built their civilisations. 
it's such a flush of overwhelming emotion to be home.
the pull is so strong, irresistible gravity always at the heart. i should go there again. 

a wet old sunday leaves me alone on my day off, contemplating the navels and other bits of a girl called anna marie, she lives in arizona a place i do love, she's really beautiful to. those legs go all the way to heaven, yes they really do!
after a quick chat, many internet problems to cross, i get stuck into some domestics. polishing wooden floors until they are so slippery and shinny i keep falling over. it's like an old black and white movie, i'm poking my body with the mop, slipping and sliding, its only a matter of time before something hazardous occurs and i'm out for the count.
i manage to finish cleaning the floors but then i look at the kitchen, cluttered and messy and i shove everything away wondering what life would be if i were married. i guess that all depends don't it?
a lot of people i know are married and miserable, men and women. some seem to be fine but you don't really know what goes on in private. one mans dream is another's nightmare.
i manage to do almost everything on my own, it's bloody hard work and there's no time left at the end but i somehow plod through. this season is plodding season, there is no cash left, there is only debt and work.
the debt will hang around for a while, i just have to tighten my belt, chop wood carry water. 
rain comes, it's almost welcome, i guess some farmers need it more than myself, some sunday's are better than others, this is just a dull sunday, indifferent lean and penetratingly mundane. i look like i'm working but really i'm not, just moving one pile and making another. 
something blows in the wind, leaves shake and shimmer, shapes take form and my imagination stretches the fiction. when you stare at the tree long enough it stares back at you. or was that an abyss? 
it's hard to tell one from the other, it's almost unreasonable to ask.