fuck me, i have a day off. rejoice. 

i wish the weather was better but nonetheless i am grateful to just have some time to breathe. it's been draining my batteries, not just work but the dramas around it. and on top of all the drama there's a weird issue i have with all the technology at work, 3 computers that would not work, meetings on the run and very important information being wiped by a computer upgrade. 

anyways the only way out is through so i enter the furnace and walk out the other side stronger. i have been a tolerant man but there are limits to my tolerance. 

at the end of it all i proved myself correct, i nailed this problem a long time ago and then took a back seat collecting evidence and gathering intelligence because eventually the situation would reveal itself for all to see. and it did, and now i am vindicated. 

so yesterday was exhausting.

now i move forwards.

i find myself doing something weird this morning, eating egg salad. i eat a load of it and then at dinner tonight i am so ull i just sip on a glass of water watching everyone else eat their meals. it's nice, a bunch of open minded people gathering once a month to swap information, i hear about a few interesting things, a court case in the usa where a county wins a legal battle to remove fluoride from their drinking water,  i learn about the dangers of 5g radio towers and nutritional values of certain vegetables and fruit. eat organic or perish. anyways the evening is great, catching up with my morning pals and making new acquaintances, particularly a guy who may help me make 'gummies' and we have the same passion for music as well. the church, nick cave and the the. i'm looking forwards to learning more about cooking and gardening from this man, he's very switched on, a kiwi masterchef, maybe i can finetune my baking skills.

she is hekate, the empress, the diviner and receiver of knowledge,  the feminine principle in action radiating from her throne of aquamarine,  turquoise and emeraldine. feminine and priestly, the witches witch, the truth and the Truth, she is the mistress of magick, the seer of souls, the wand and the wave, the holy baby long gone, adoration and devotion, the essence of the spell caster, she is divine intuition, thou shall have no other goddesses before me. before me only you. after me only you. that is the way of the way, and so it is.

you may not know me, it is forbidden. this was carved in stone upon my birth, the cosmic principle has ordained me with great utility, the heavens unto the earth. the great symbol, the holy key of knowing, while you have the implications of not. i surf the cosmic freeways but have no place to go so i contemplate upon my throne, the divine manifestation of light. the planets sing my name, in orbits immortality ordained, thou shalt not, decay. thou shalt have the power cosmic and ride the waves through galactoseismology and intuitions name. so it is.

one drama follows another fortunately i'm empowered by some lunar force in pisces at the moment and i seem to come up smelling like roses. 

in fact the ocean has been giving me some gifts, dolphins swim close to the shoreline, hundreds of them swimming at terrible, it's quite something and the are whales further out, breaching and blowing massive water spouts. it's strange to see the wildlife so close to the shore. crowds stop to watch. i bump into a friend who says she was out by goldie (the 1k bouy) locals swim to when she saw loads of port jackson sharks swim past. then another friend wraps herself in flowers washed up by the ocean, they are gorgeous, bright red sea flowers. she kneels down and is crowned by neptune, a mermaid indeed. the water is cold but after the initial shock it's really quite pleasant and refreshing. no waves though.

i attend a boxing session that leaves me exhausted, my limbs ache but i do love it. the sun fades away after such a beautiful taste of spring, a change is heading my way, clouds rolling in, rain is in the air. time to batten down the hatches.

everything connects up, dots and dashes, zeroes and ones. man and woman, fate and destiny. all things converge at some sort of omega point. the only thing that separates it is space and time, so these things are really one, you and i are the same thing, we just think we are separated. the best way for two people to become one is through sexual means. 

my own relationship to sex is a sort of yogic tantra union, there needs to be some bridge built between the female partner and myself, and obviously it's a sliding scale from, base level to crown. but when there's an opportunity to align i see it as my cosmic duty. intercourse is connecting, sex is mind and heart expansion, man and woman equals union, two cells wanting to subdivide into a third. 

the sex act, connects the dots. ultimately we connect. one way or another, the long way or the short way, everyone will connect. however conscious connection makes things interesting. 

im a tantric druid these days.

strangely sociable this last week, sees me chatting with a few people, anyone that will listen really. i talk to a whole bunch of people, i talk about anything, my words pour forth like rain falling here and there. i chat with a lovely english lady who likes wrestling, she's a sort of old skool punk and i like her style, i chat to a chef i meet in the markets, we talk about music and bands, he likes my the the tee shirt. he's an interesting cat but i never really get a chance to finish our conversations. i speak to a few other people, so much talking, so many people, i do more socializing this weekend than ever and now i'm talked out. i get home and swallow loads of cbd oil, i eat a few cookies and suck on a few gummies. when i fall asleep it's fast and deep. i awake feeling great. 

my next big thing is to get rid of my old sofa which i do, it's found a home in lightening ridge so now there's a big space where it used to live, and on wednesday this week, i pick up some new furnishings for mission control. amazing stuff, that will transform the place, so i'm kinda excited about that. mmm, those gummies are addictive. 

 

yesterday i read a report commissioned by an english team of data experts and information analysts and a lawyer looking at the bbc's coverage of the middle east war with hamas. the report basically said the bbc is a propaganda machine for hamas against israel. it listed over one and a half thousand reports where the bbc lied to it's viewers and stated most of the reporters were pro hamas or had affiliation to hamas. 

this really is no surprise for me, two decades ago a similar report, the balen report, was published but the bbc spent one and a half million pounds to keep it from being seen. that's tax payers money. the bbc have a history of pushing propaganda, unless you are a nut job whom agrees with their ideology of global govt. climate change, brexit, immigration, israel, it's all endorsed by the united nations and the push to de-legitimatize any sovereign nation, especially the only jewish one. why? 

because the pact the united nations has made being a marxist ideology is with political islam, a marxist theocracy. 

propaganda and inverse mirror truth is the weapon used. many people say they think everything is reversed, the good guys are the bad guys, the bad the good. women are now male, males now women ect. yet they fail to apply the same standard to israel, a place which is more democratic than their own country. the elections there are proportional representation, therefore the pm attempted to make deals with the left who rejected his offers and he was forced into a deal with the right side. the fault again lays with the left who are incapable of compromise, even in israel. 

the bbc and it's proxies are to blame for the levels of antisemitism, pushing lies and distorting truths, they have participated in advancing a real terrorist fascist ideology against a reasonable one of a jewish homeland. only people who have never lived or visited israel have warped weird ideas about it, i think most people would be shocked at how amazing the place is. people that push diversity, equity and inclusion should really use israel as a template.  maybe they are just jealous after all, that such a small country with a real minority population could succeed whereas they have failed. 

i'll always support israel, it's far from perfect but it's a fucking brilliant country. it's not a religious brilliance, it's a societal secular one. it's intelligent and reflects a well thought out society in a middle of a hellish scenario.  that tension makes it creative and vibrant. any artist worth their salt would place themselves in it's center, tel aviv, a city so wild expression comes in all forms. fuck the bbc, it's orwell's inspiration for 1984 and now we should all know why.

william holloway's compilation of writers short stories form a mosaic based around an update of the hp lovecraft mythos. and they are surprisingly good. each book contains four or five stories, different characters, different environments, different countries and cultures but all dealing with the aftermath of an apocalyptic event. very good, very creepy, well written and somewhat surprising. 
 

up bright and early, laundry garden and bed needs attention and i'm time short this week, just gotta manage time like an interdimensional pattern juggler in a nexus of cross currents. it's all happening. down the ocean and the mirror sea is made from a glass frozen in time, nothing moves. so i end up getting more cbd oil, drinking coffee with a few familiar faces talking about fasting. yes you heard that correct, olde captain mission is going to attempt a fast. my current routine is i don't eat after 20 00 and then in the morning i have a tumeric latte but no food until about 13 00.

all i need to do is between 13 00 and 20 00 is drink a few lemon waters, maybe allow myself some nuts and just focus on something other than eating. it's only 24 hours, no time really.

i've incorporated stretching into my training regime, this is all coming together. stretching, breathing, feet movement, punching, and hips, everything flows. years of bad habits are being broken up and rewired. it feels good to finally be breaking through. i've avoided all sugars and all toxins for about 1 month straight. it's making a difference, and no i only eat organic food i can feel the difference in so many ways. i do like my milk and will drink coconut milk in coffee, or unhomogenised full cream milk. i only have it in coffee nothing else. 

so here we are ready to roll and rock into the day, firing on all cylinders. makes a nice change. 

this morning after boxing i threw myself into the pacific just for a thrill. the first micro second of ice cold submergence passes like a fleeting kiss, replaced by the warm embrace of a familiar lover, last nights tension dissipates into some sort or transmuted alchemy and pleasure. everything awakened, energy centers, third eye, the whole central nervous system electrified.

i throw myself into the deep, the crystal waters clear and calm, the sky cold blue but the weather is perfect, like summer. i am alive here, alive and kicking, or at least punching.

later i have to drive straight to work, stopping off at home to arrange some money stuff for two friends. i drive south into the world while tuned out. everything is good when i have my surfs, anything can be dealt with.

rfk and tulsi gabbord join forces with trump, and suddenly there is hope. when you hear them talk about health, about food about soil and air, when you hear them speak out against big pharma, the war machine, corruption and complicity. it's not that namby pamby obama hope, that 'yes we can' lie, this is real hope about something real. not from politicians and manipulators but from really switched on people who know the facts. yeah hope smells great as i drive along the freeway. 

 second surf, still no waves but the water is clean and fresh and with just enough cold to kick start the day. i love it. sun, blue skies, as i invoke neptune, gratitude, open and emanating. .

i've been experimenting with various cbd oils, mild to very strong, found a very strong one that suits me. it's so strange that such a plant is illegal, in my humble opinion all politicians should smoke or inject this holy herb although the current lot are brainwashed and already enslaved to their agendas. anyways what do i know, it's all an illusion, i should try to detach from these things,  politics ect. the fall will come and then the rise, that's the tidal flow of humanity, never really learning the patterns of history doomed to repeat it. i get more satisfaction, answers and joy from the sun, the moon, the stars and the oceans. oh. and girls.  

 the water looked so clean and inviting, i know it was cold but i figured what the hell and threw myself in. it was not as cold as i anticipated and immediately i acclimated, feeling the clear cool water overwhelm me, my energy centres activated and my whole body turned on. no waves but it was my first swim in a long time setting the pattern for the next few seasons. even though it was a short session this morning i had a taste and want more. after a colder shower i sat in the sun and dried, perfect, the sun blessed me with heat and good vibrations. everything begins now. 

it's market day on the coast, so i loiter down the road and peruse the crowded stalls, nibbling on organic mushrooms, apples, tasting samples and basically having a free breakfast. i talk to a cbd oil maker about our love of cannabis with thc, and we talk about the availability of various psychedelic mushrooms for clinical treatments.  i bump into a few locals and we exchange stories over coffee, i meet a guy who says he can get me a lions mane growing kit, i pick up some organic pumpkin, some spelt bread and some blueberry organic jam. that will do me as i head back home, all before 8am.

my plan was to head off to avoca markets but the sprinkle of rain makes me just wanna go home, light a fire and read however when i get home my motivation seems to leave and i slide into a strange state of inertia which i shake of by smoking a joint. there's a lot to do, as usual domestic issues take a lead. the joys of being alone means you are responsible for everything, down to taking out garbage to shopping, paying bills, laundry and generally keeping yourself amused.

the shopping mall is a nightmare, i'm in and out, all i need is milk and to pick up something from the chemist. as usual at the chemist there's an issue with my account. fucking heart medicine! 
ever since my jab the pharmaceutical model has invaded my space, it's been awful and the war is on many fronts. fighting with doctors, chemists and the medication itself. i would love to be free from their tendrils. 
when i finally get home around 11am i get a message to meet at a friends for lunch, well that sounds nice, at least i can practice my social skills. 

spring is weeks away, soon i will return to neptune. my mission is to surf everyday until the water gets to cold sometimes midway through next year. i will continue my training but this will supplement the HIT i am doing.

this morning i watched the surf, it was wild and unruly, chaos and not very friendly at all. the actual weather was amazing, very warm, blue skies and almost like spring had arrived. i couldn't believe how warm it was as i sat in the sun, reading my hp lovecraft themed book, 'the abyssal plain.' 

plato said 'faulty thinking brings misery,' and nowhere do you see this clearer than in kamila harris who made a ridiculous speech yesterday about price gouging and the govt. control of price commodities. i know, she's your fave but seriously, anyone can really see she is an idiot. her party are obviously dumb and prove themselves incompetent and corrupt. these people do not represent normal people.

the idea of the communist method of correcting the economy would apply if humans were ants. it's very chinese. but humans are unique individuals, and the market controls prices via supply and demand. the fact four years ago everything was cheaper says a lot about her party, they have been in power and certainly could control the economics, but they chose to print more money thus creating the inflation which drives up prices. it's freaking obvious and you don't need to be an economics student to know this.

the other crazy thing she said, i know there's heaps to choose from but this slipped under the radar was her policy about giving new homeowners an incentive of $30000 to invest in a new home. lovely idea in theory but the reality is, sellers just increase the value of their homes by $30000. 

i've attempted to be impartial and make clear objective decisions about her but the verdict is in, she's stupid and that makes her dangerous. trump at least has a sense of humor and despite media reports, is very intelligent. he just doesn't dress it up in bullshit newspeak. yep, he's no slick talker but he's my main man in the political game.

in the evening i do some clandestine stuff with a group of people, i was asked to talk to. wow, it was amazing, meeting switched on people who know what's going down. they also know how to navigate it so my learning curve is growing. 

it's unusual for me to read female writers, i'm usually disappointed by most of them, possibly as they write like females and it's obvious whereas silva moreno garcia is blowing my mind with her dark tale of two friends in 90's mexico city who come across a old washed up horror film director and a story about a possessed film that was left unfinished financed by a nazi occultist. 

here's a writer that knows it's horror movies, knows the occult and it's weird practitioners, here's a writer who develops real characters, flawed and believable. silvia has written an extraordinary book. it's riveting and filled with homage to a  sub genre of film history. 

the only criticism is the magick system at work within it needed more development although the magick is accurate in most parts there's a degree of fiction which was unnecessary. i guess i don't think of magick as electrical energy although the analogy has been made before.

all things settle, an equilibrium presides within my self. 

there is no self, i hear you say. 

in my selves then. 

i walked through the graveyard and watch the shadows, i wander through metal sculptures, i meander through the clock faces of when and i divine the peace within the peace within.

 

boxing this morning, i break through more barriers and boundaries, i learn how to move on my feet, i get it but it takes a little time, all the injuries and glitches in my alignment are being repaired, i'm getting flow again. it's been a long time since i have felt this fluid. there are so many components to boxing, breathing, posture, movement, of the hips, feet and fists, power, speed and elasticity. over the last few sessions i have learnt how to breathe, adaptation is the key, changing rhythm and being aware of opportunity. pushing air deep inside, releasing in precision with impact. then there's posture. i am learning about stance, elegance and coordination, it's resulting power, how to jab, cross, upper, hook like a machine. i finish and walk out feeling stronger, lighter and physically a much better version of myself. i'm really looking forwards to a slight rise in ocean temperature when i can start surfing again, combined with boxing i'll be on top of my game. 

 i pop in for dinner at some friends, andrew and monique, they have invited me over to their groovy pad the next beach along. i have been there once during the daylight a week ago, to pick up firewood. but at night google maps has misdirected me, i'm close but driving around through very narrow side streets in the pouring rain. eventually i get there, two minites late. i didn't know what to bring, wine or weed so i brought both. 

now this is a very cool home, it's multileveled in the bush, overlooking a panoramic view of avoca. the ouse is perfect, huge great big rooms, adorned with large art pieces and sculptures, there's a lot of space and a huge balcony. 

we grab some umbrellas and have a bbq in the rain. well we actually just cook food on the bbq, we eat it around a very elegant table where we swap stories. politics, art, ufo's and aliens, shamanics and law. it's a fantastic evening, i can feel the hash cookie i'd taken this afternoon kicking in, and i only licked the spoon, not even had a bite. this is a fresh batch and i think they will be very good, however i have to test them. 

we listen to some live jazz in the lounge room, yeah live. and then we have affragattos.

the food was perfect, i loved it all. what a gorgeous feast, and gorgeous company. these people are very cool, and they have done a great job raising their very talented and sound kids. 

i drive home, it's still raining, the foggy roads, the headlamps hit the wild bush, it shimmers and pulses with life and vitality after rain, and i see everything is alive and growing, nature is winning here, it feeds my soul and makes me happy.

my training seems to be kicking through some boundaries, self imposed limits i put on my physicality and how hard i train. now i seem to smash through pain thresholds easy enough, my body is aligning, those old hips swinging all the breakages and fractures are melding in as normal and strengthening my skeleton,  my punches are powerful and fast, i train hard. this in turn effects diet which is now pretty healthy and nutrition based, kinda functional. my sleeping patterns are erratic but i get enough sleep to repair damage to tissue and restore my needs. my mind is sharpening again. is this healing? i dunno, it's whatever it is. 

 i was reading a book and came across this very nice description of a labyrinth.
years ago i studied labyrinths and understood them in an intuitive level but never did i come across a description as eloquent as this.

a labyrinth is not a maze, it is a journey. you begin by facing your desire, whether it is to find yourself, jerusalem, or enlightenment, and you follow a path of knowledge. once committed you cannot leave that path. sometimes it is direct and your destination is clear before you. at other times it leads you to the side, and this is a time for reflection and discovery of wider perspectives. sometimes that is a dark night of the soul, a time of severe testing when you closest companion is despair. but always the path of the labyrinth turns again. it approaches the point from which you began, but it is a new point and a new departure. and eventually by being persistent you will find your way to your hearts desire.

 

 

I asked my father I said, Father change my name The one I'm using now it's covered up With fear and filth and cowardice and shame Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Back to me, back to me He said, I locked you in this body I meant it as a kind of trial You can use it as a weapon Or to make some woman smile Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Then let me start again, I cried Let me start again I want a face that's fair this time I want a spirit that is calm Like the spirit of this song May it rise up pure and free Let it be a shield for you A shield against the enemy Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me

in the wars as i continue on with the boxing, my shoulder now partly recovered but a sharp nerve under my shoulder begins to send incredible messages of pain through my upper body. being somewhat stoic when it comes to pain, i manage to breathe through it, transmuting the knife edge sensation into a dull throb, i jab, punch, hook and upper cut my way through the session. steady as she goes, i finish up feeling better than when i walked in. tomorrow i'm going to train harder. 

boxing is moved into a new realm for me, i've got the punches under control, i can use force and use my feet to shuffle into correct stances. i can breathe correctly, it's become easier and now i'm learning how to swing my hips. this is an area that may have been blocked and as i become conscious of the movement my punches improve, the power increases. 

yeah, i gotta go harder, faster, stronger now, stamina is the name of the game. pushing through pain, into new realms, there is only the body as the machine, synchronized and  harmonized, i punch therefore i am. no thoughts, just some weird instinct, the killer in me, is the killer in you. i'm letting it free now, it does not rule me, but it is there, a lean mean fighting machine. fists of fury, legs of steel, sway those hips and breathe deep baby.

i've embraced my own limits, broken the rules, i've gone further than i thought i could and it feels good.

 

not often i come across a real page turner written by a female writer but age of vice is fucking brilliant. amazing story, amazing writing. i love the style it's hard boiled chandler-like but set in the new indian century, where the crime families compete with one another on godfather like levels, where the characters are totally 4 dimensional. lots of food for thought as the 'age of vice' acknowledges the kali yuga and all the chaos it brings. so far, it's the book of the year. 

dawn at the beach, i'm always here in the golden pathway, soaking up the light, feeling the energy as it glimmers across the water to my feet. my states are deep, deep and directed inwards, my body warming up as i meet the sun.
before me a crystalline sheen of water, a stillness upon the surface deep, the ocean has a calm surface, gentle mirrored reflector, a malkuth reflecting kether. i sleep inwards my journey begins with each breath as my body begins to absorb the solar fields.

and much later i'm doing my morning training, jumping up on rocks, overloaded with energy and enthusiasm. 'slow down,' the trainer says, 'slow down.'

but i can't, i've overdosed on sunlight, my batteries are ripe, i'm an energizer, just keep going, until i slip. 

for a moment i almost defy gravity, floating through the air over the massive rock, i twist my shoulder inwards so that my face won't impact and in that slight twist, i hit the ground. 

i jump up but somethings is wrong, my shoulder is hurting bad, it's probably broken, there are bruises all down my backside and leg. black and blue. 

i finish the session blocking all pain, and then it sinks in. 

painkillers, my shoulder goes numb. i get through the days, my threshold is high. my enthusiasm has not diminished. there's always ways to block pain and my energy is divine.

 

 

 

it was very easy to predict the assassination attempt upon trump today, i called it about one year ago suggesting if they can't win by lawfare they will up the ante to a bullet and thus the bullet that skimmed his head as he led a rally in pennsylvania today is the shot that wins trump the election unanimously, because it missed. the probability is it was a warning shot, however my take upon trump is every obstacle just determines his moves. he's got nothing to lose.

the biden / obama administration on the other hand have everything to lose, they have as the left always does, overplayed their hand. trump is not the worlds answer to its current problems but he is the best option we have at the moment, a far better option than the status quo whom everyday prove their ineptitude and shadowy agendas. trump's first term was naive, he was generous to his adversaries because he had respect for the office, a traditionalist in the true american terminology. this time he knows not only who the enemy is, he knows where the bodies are buried and he will go for them. 

that's why i'd say the bullet was not a warning but a genuine attempt to remove him from the game. let's be honest, it's not the democrats alone that are part of the deep state, it's also half the republican party. most of trump's inner circle are in jail, the legal teams that attempt to defend him, his advisers and confidantes have all been subjected to a form of cancelling or incarceration, and trump himself has been charged for a crime that bden himself did as vice president, only the judge under biden said president biden was far to senile to send to jail, and was therefore never charged. biden was vice president when he removed the documents, trump was president. trump had clearance being chief but biden didn't. lawfare, is the early stage of warfare. you can see where this is going?

an unusual look at an artist, '50 visions' is really great, offering a good insight into the creative process of kate and the kind of person she is. i really enjoyed reading this, full of interesting information and moments, along with several interviews, tom doyle has a very healthy respect for his subject, obviously a fan and a music nut. it's not detailed, nor is it a chore to read, just very short chapters looking at kate's career, each album, how it was recorded and kate's passion to create something artistically valuable as opposed to pop music. i just read this and loved her even more.

 

 

got caught in an electronic snow storm, static blizzard filled my feed. sometimes i can navigate through these glitches, i guess because i don't over rely on technology, i can always default to an extra sensory perception. they said the communication system was down, my mobile made a good paperweight holding down the pages of an unfinished story. the black rectangle looked sleek but totally dysfunctional. none of the apps worked and there was no electricity supply to charge it. 
i lit a few candles, prepared myself and entered theta. i can do this instantly now, it only took a few seconds to reach you. remote viewing, i can see you sleeping in your bedroom, a massive thick quilt lay over the top of you. i project a whisper, but it's not working. i've begun to learn in theta you cannot get deeper, so without regulating i enter your dreamscape.
its a mountain freshness, but there's a fire burning. your feeding it logs and sipping upon a hot chocolate. i sit by your side, 'hi, i'm here because we need to talk.'
you look surprised but compose yourself very quickly, in a microsecond i do see the fragility and a fleeting hint of anger in your eyes, but it passes for a smile as you begin to understand the state of play.
'i''m listening,' you say attempting assertiveness but there's a fragility around your voice.
'come to me.' 
that's it, that's all i say as i fade away, as you fade away, the dream continues like a tree falling in an empty forest.
i return to my environment, the primal me activates his senses, i can see in the dark, i can hear birds and the distant rumble of something distant. my own fire is now just glowing embers. i reach for a log as i wait for your arrival.

iris doe 

possibly the best album i have heard after the church is this one, 'the end of unknowing' by iris doe. it's perfect in every sense but far to short, i want it to go on for ever, that kind of album. there's some brilliant musicianship, melodies and singing, harmonies and arrangements, that piano makes me melt. i'm pretty sure jeffery cain from the church is the main man behind this, iris doe, isadore, communicating vessels, i think it's very special. please trust me, buy it. tell your friends, share the love. things like this do not arrive often and as i sit at the end of the world, on the brink of apocalypse, mayhem and madness ,it's things like this i want to hear. 

city transport squished with non english speaking people, kids screaming, mums talking on phones, dads holding various mcdonalds bags and looking out the window at the harbour, generally doing what dads do, the whole place seems like another country. some chinese girls get on, chatting in chinese, a girl in a weird 80's outfit like a female devo band member strolls past looking for a seat. outside i look at the big ships in the harbour, a cruise ship and a warship. the opera house looks all glamorous in the winter blue ocean and a few sailing vessels bob up and down. i wonder as i gaze out how much more the city will change, and how fast. 

the streets are alive, thriving, i guess that's a good sign, i wander through george street wondering about weather i should upgrade my phone, it's already an antique. however i like it, i also wonder about some new computers, mine are relics and about to fail. i pick up my david bowie rock and roll star box, it's bigger than i thought and cheaper as red eye seem to have good prices for these box sets. 

later i head home, the sun sets, the temperature drops, and i'm ready to dream. i speak with mum for a little while but i'm tired and falling asleep, its cold so i shower, jump in bed and read a few chapters of 'year of the locust' which i'm really enjoying, and enter a deep sleep. 

last night around midnight the keeper of the reams visited. i hadn't seen him for over four years and he had not changed except for his eyes, they gleamed even brighter than ever, yet his features were identical to our last meeting. he was again dressed in his weird fractal robe, a sort of esoteric hooded gown covered in red embroidered fractal patters and designs that seemed to constantly move the more you look. 

i myself was wearing my old church tee- church a wooly hat and some black boxer shorts. i had been sleeping quite deeply after enjoying the fire-place. it was a cold night and for the first time in many years the whole of mission control was heated with a glowing warmth that bordered on quaint and domestic. i had been warming my bones, sitting in front of the fire feeling heat enter me, penetrating into the bodies depths. it was perfect, just enough light to relax peacefully while iris doe played on repeat, i tell you that album is magnificent. i especially love all the vocal tracks.

i could feel my body winding down, ready for sleep when the glass panel between the flames and myself suddenly burst alive with a face, contorted and apparently screaming at me. it's hard to describe but the fire demons face was so detailed and as i watched it screaming i began to see as it moved backwards and forwards it was not angry at all, it was laughing. 

i gazed at what would have been an hour or so, the basic shape of the thing never changing, even when i added a log. in the depths f my mind i wondered if when i open the door to place a new log in the flames would the demon escape, but it didn't seem to want to leave the fury of the firestorm inside. it laughed and smiled, sometimes it went out and reappeared at the back of the fire, sometimes it just went from fits of laughter to naughty giggles. eventually i stopped feeding the fre and took myself to bed as the glowing embers faded.

when the keeper of realms awoke me i had no idea what time it was, it seemed like the early hours of the morning but i had only been asleep three hours, it was midnight.
i offered him a chair and searched for a reasonably social light, and then went into the kitchen to make some tea. 
'i hope you have been well mission,' he said, a soft voice floated through the rooms.
'yes, i guess so, keeping a very low profile in the realms these days. focusing on being grounded for a change. it's taken me a few years to feel comfortable here but i've begun to acclimatise.'
'yes, the realms have noticed your absence.'

i poured out the water and let him continue.

'in fact that's why i am here.'

i carried two cups of chia, 'here warm up, i can relight the fire.'

i knelt down and begun to poke around the ash, smoothing it out and building a base for the slim pieces of wood, and adding some crumpled paper, and then a layer of sticks. within the centre were two cubes of fire starter which hopefully would get things cooking. as the flames begin i added the log on the top, leaving enough room for the oxygen to flow.

'you have to return soon mission, life on the ground has its place but you have been here far to long and you are needed.'

'mmm, i've begun to like it here, it's created a new kind of lifestyle, safer and more content. i don't really seek anything anymore. it's like i was always thinking there's nothing new under the sun, then something would surprise me, and now i realise everything new is under the sun.'

'yes, being grounded has its pros, and it's cons but i am keeper of the realms and i have been asked to summon you back. all realms need you, they are all in dire need as you must know, look at things upon the earth, it's just a manifestation of spiritual warfare. you know this mission but here, you can't do anything. in the realms you can change everything.'

as much as i wanted to deny it he was correct. i knew it deep within my bones.

i would require my allies, and i will need a few new ones. 

as we sipped our chia i knew exactly whom i would bind to me as a new ally. i looked into the fire and there he was laughing maniacally. 

sometimes, maybe twice a week i may check the mailbox. usually it's some waterlogged bill that falls apart as i attempt to pick it up, sometimes its a real estate flyer asking if i want to sell or buy, if i'm really unlucky it's some boring notice from the council. and occasionally it's something amazing, like today. it's 'iris doe' jeffery kane's new project and i'm really thrilled to have it. 

there's something very magnetic about mr. kane, it's a not just watching him play with the church, he's an engine, a music machine that adds extra depth and layers of profound beauty to the overall sound. he moves like a ballet, unfolding itself from background minor to foreground major. but his music is also quite beautiful and as i play iris doe several times in the warm living space in the depths of mission control the music like the warmth permutes through the night, track two is a movie i stared in, it's majestic and holds enough pathos to hold an empire together while it falls apart. 

wow, what a sensational start to 'year of the locust' i love it, although harrowing in parts. this morning i managed to let of some built up frustration with some full on boxing, really excellent session, i walked out a different person. i wanna do that every day and keep the momentum up. afterwards i sat in the sun's rays at the beach chatting with my friend peter and monique. we laughed. it feels good to have at least two friends i can laugh with, they seem to like my humour which is always a good sign.

then later i clean up, vacuum, throw out rubbish, gardening, clean the bathroom with some creaming stuff, sort out some paperwork, all while waiting for a plumber to turn up, he don't, he don't even ring me to tell me, i have to do all the work. i loathe tradesmen, they are so rude and expensive, plus they never clean up after themselves.

i spend about an hour on the phone to a new energy company. i signed up with them as they save me a considerable sum each year but recently received a letter saying the price was increasing. i have not even received my first bill yet. it sounds so petty but it's the principle, so i rang up demanding they stop increasing my payments lest i change to another company. i ranted and raved like a demented crazed monk, and eventually they must have put me in the to hard basket and offered me a very good price. fucking energy companies, and green subsidies. there's no way i am paying more cash to a chinese 'green' extortion racket. fuck them, and fuck the australian bastards who just gave themselves another pay rise, thus albo is the most expensive pm we have ever had. a complete waste of space. fuck em all.

as dusk begins i'm deep in my novel reading, thinking about assange coming back to australia, i'm really happy for him. he needs to be with his family.

the rain came out of nowhere after a sunny spell, devastated my weekend, i slept for most of it after working a 24 hour shift and then when i awoke i returned for more work. through the pummeling rain, up and down the highway at night, occasionally glimpsing a strawberry moon through the clouds, fighting fatigue and general weariness, gotta pay those bills, claw my way outta debt like every other person in australia. work drags on-wards like a heavy weight, i used to love it but now i am just drowning in other peoples stupidity, ego and manipulations. ah well i gotta face it each day.

i re read a book called 'i am pilgrim' after about a decade, i'd forgotten most of it. wow, it's a great story, well written and put together. a sort of high class airport book, but thicker than most and filled with adventure, mystery and characters that feel real. i really recall liking it the first time i read it but loving it the second.

terry haynes the author deserves the highest of accolades, i mean it's not a work of literature or art but it is a page turner and it's remarkably intelligent. 

  

i'm reading this book so i can crash into the next book terry haynes has written, it's another spy novel called year of the locust and i'm excited to read it. so far it's amazing.

 i'm at a cafe chatting with some people who invite me to a 3 day mountain trek this weekend, i can't go, not just because i'm the type of guy who would trail behind and get kidnapped by a rogue mutant serial killer but because my days roughing it in freezing remote areas are well and truly over. i do recall going on a hike through the mountains, abseiling, wading through rivers and clambering up small trails in the middle of nowhere, long ago, as youthful endeavors, i liked a challenge and i was leading about ten street kids on an outwards bound course. these days i not only enjoy my luxuries i am useless without them, and sleeping rough is top of my hate list. i like a bed, my bed. i like warmth and hot water and electricity powering my cd player. i need access to my car and access to the shop, i've become quite cosy, the idea of clambering around mountains and bushland just does not get me excited.nope, i like to laze around a swimming pool in hot exotic climates, places where no one speaks english and the cool drinks keep coming, and within moments you are dry and need another dip, sorry but i like hanging out with girls in bikinis not ugg boots and parkas. call me shallow, call me sexist, i just like sensual warm places where sex drugs and comfort are all accessible.

i did meet an interesting russian lady once. we were in sydney and she was wearing white fur, and thigh high white furry boots to match her jacket.

'where in russia are you from?' i asked all flirty and innocent.

'siberia' she replied in her sexy accent.

'oh, wow! how the hell do you keep warm in siberia?' i asked. and without missing a beat she said.

'drink vodka, fuck like bear.'

now there's someone i could go camping in winter with.

out before the golden path i stood as dawn kisses thy moment with no promise but all. my morning ritual prayer to life, call to the vast expansive lord of time, the oceanic form and formless, all contained within its receptacle, just like each moment, like each breathe, i open hearted embrace the pathway, that ever mutable ladder of lights, in humility and gratitude, i am alive and well, living in theory and loving in glory.

around me vast halos of light encase my flesh like a cosmic armour, like an angels flesh, protected and projected, i grip the sword of light and black flame, my weapon of choice for you symbolists. it feels natural and part of my own body, i wield it with a certain familiarity. hounds are known more for their loyalty than swords but my sword is true. it is me.

every morning when the sun allows i complete my morning evocations and rituals, sometimes there is no feedback, but these days as i persist the loop is strong and reconnection is established. today it is pulsing with vitality, lo behold, here i am. here. i am. i.

down at terrible beach the surf is good but very cold and the rain looks inhospitable, i decide not to enter but instead enjoy a coffee with my little social group. we are a small mixed group, south african, dutch, australian and english. we are all defiant anti vaccers ostracized for our stance upon the recent covid vaccines, all very sceptical when it comes to authority, government and the traditional forms of media. i get an education in a black native american salve that cures cancer. i get some info on adrenochrome, we talk about immigration in australia, ancient civilization, the vivid festival and various diets. we talk culture values and the economic apocalypse that is about to befall us all.

later i am left staring out at the ocean, pockets of sunshine tease me, the water is a shade of green tinted glass. not many people out there, a lone surfer. the sunshine fades and my friend and i observe a woman sitting alone looking quite bereaved. i wonder if i should ask her if everything's okay but my friend suggests she may not approve, so i just watch her as she waits for her green smoothie.

night time, the soft rain filters car headlights, the cold wind slices through the night as i drive north towards destination. the secret cult of post apocalypse survivors, we  share food, stories, information and laughs. it is all good, slightly surreal. i drive back with my assignment, the night is so soft, the rain no longer falls but shimmers as droplets hang suspended in frozen time along the freeway. 

perhaps i can assist you in your hidden desires, i'm good at that. let's see we just edit a film together. here's how it would look. a hardcore porn film intercut with images of the holocaust, global islamic terror (from the hijacking of aircraft and ocean liners to the stabbing of christian clerics in sydney, there's beheadings, isis, hezbollah, hamas, we show images of october 7th, rape, murder, kidnapping and general mayhem intercut with women fucking, sensual sounds, hardcore sex and orgasm spliced into jew death. the murder of jews as pornography, that's what you really want isn't it?

go on admit it. deep down in your heart, that's what turns you on. 

maybe i should start my own porn hub channel. while you study humanities, work for that united nations charity, write for the guardian or host your own show on the abc or bbc, while you create your tik tok bullshit or march down the streets each weekend protesting on behalf of the genocidal hamas but condemning israel, you can discreetly get off to your chosen secret porn channel. i know it's what you really desire, and you know i'm a liberal open minded guy. no judgements here, just some honesty, openness and truth. 

i know your dreams baby. the things that get you wet and hard. the secret stuff you almost feel ashamed about, but not to much. hey, i'm human, it's just a repressed impulse urges that need to surface. baby, i'm a safe space, all you have to do is suscribe to 'jew hate love death porn hub' and you can decolonialise your unconcious needs as much as you want. 

with a breathable atmosphere and severe landscape we went as a team, the medic, the android, the scientist and me, the captain. our instruments showed no signs of life but there were structures that were not formed by nature. these towered into the stratosphere, strange gothic towers that spiralled and curved almost defying gravity. as we landed we took a close look at them, with their opaque portals and organic surfaces, it was almost like a petrified limb of some life force but there was nothing indicating technology or life. whatever this was it had been dead a long time.

it was the medic who proposed a small exploration party, he suggested we explore the rugged mountain range out near the edge of the dead sea, a vast expanse of what could well have been water but now left as black sand and rock. there was no colour here, just shades of black and brown. he was keen to get into the substructure, and his curisoty as an amatur archelogist paid dividents. i was reluctant at first but it did seem ridiculous to have come so far without a surface exploration. i sought reassurance in the wisdom of the android who suggested we time our first walk to three hours (earth time) and then explore the next day up to five hours, and finally a seven hour trek. 

it was now the final trek, into our fifth hour, soon we would have to return and we had seen nothing of real consequence. a dead landscape and these towers reaching upwards, no clouds, little sun, no life. having extra augmented vision the android could scan the terrain in a number of alternative spectrums, it was a clunky old thing, shaped in human form but it's movements were odd and out of rhythm. however without it we would be at a huge disadvantage for it had saved us on many occasion.  no one knew where it came from or who constructed it, it was something we had found wandering around with a wiped memory aboard an abandoned ship many years ago. we saved it and our technicians managed to give it a basic program, and  the chance to create new memories. we collectively agreed we would never tell it, it was an android, we would just accept it as a crew member with equal status, and consequently like all androids would, it questioned its identity often, noticing many differences between organic bodies and it's own. recently it had settled into thinking it was just different but equal, a disability perhaps, but it understood it was amongst friends. the biggest leap in it's own growth was the emergence of dreaming. this surprised us all.

'there is a crevice seventeen clicks to the north west, it seems very deep and leads to ancient rock strata, this may give us some indication of the history of this world. i think we should investigate.'

we were all bored and tired so a chance of scenery seemed like a good idea, although i didn't want to go to deep. the idea of caving on an unknown mysterious planet seemed a little risky, but i thought my friend iggy in japan would just say, 'don't take care, take risks,' so i agreed.

we clambered awkwardly over the rocks making our way east until the entrance loomed in front of us. it was a dark slit in the rockface of a mountain, the sonar and spectrograph said it was very deep and part of a large network. i sent a couple of probes in but  when they returned the imaging was to blurry to see detail, save for a series of glimmering lights. 
'what is that?' the medic asked.
'it's a reflection. the drones lights are being reflected in something reflective.' the android responded. 'it could be polished stone, mirror, water or some kind of glass.'
'how far away is it?' i asked.
'we can make it in an hour, depending on terrain but there's no telling what sort of obstacles are in there.'

and so we found ourselves in the abyss. 

my body was weary, it was hard going, not just physically but mentally, we could only see a few feet in front and there was no telling what lay ahead. the android had several instruments which would indicate dangers but dangers could take any form and i felt responsible for everyone. as it happened we seemed to be walking along a natural corridor. in parts it was very narrow but comfortable enough to manage without any problem. 

my breathing became constant, deep and regular, calming any tension. above me flew the probe with it's array of lights. as we turned around what seemed like a corner, the reflections became visible and i halted the team.

'let's attempt a np flare,' see what we can see.

the android suggested aiming it above as the chasm seemed so deep. 

as the flare ignited, all was revealed, the foreboding  megalithic tombs embedded in the rock. they rose above us, filling the chamber with an awe, each inscribed with various hieroglyphs and markings, the vestige of panelling and technology, what were these, chambers, small ships, coffins, i wondered as we passed by collecting as much information as possible.

'let's stay 30 minites get as musch footage as possible and then head back, we can return tomorrow.'

everyone agreed. 

the ass has fallen out of the modern world, and as i read it's entrails i just see the looming death throes as populations just cannot get to grips with reality of what has occurred in the last decade although i have been watching it's decent since 1988. now i understand it goes back further to the jfk assassination when the cia or deep state started to influence politics domestically and internationally. but it goes back even further if one wants to follow the subtle machinations of the deep state, who are basically nazi's. hear me out.

many of the western leaders were very sympathetic to hitler, in fact they openly supported him, especially in regards to two things, eugenics and jews. the queen of england can be seen parading around as a young girl sieg heilling with her parents on the lawn. the ruling classes still clung to empire and saw the lower classes as uneducated workers, cannon fodder and petty criminals. the only reason the uk went to war against hitler was because the majority of people (the public)  opposed him,  the govt. had already attempted to make peace given the uk was to be under british rule after the conquest of europe. the evidence is in folks, the establishment loved hitler. 

business loved him to, the industrial machine saw his technocratic possibility to embrace the machine. the nazi's are described as a well oiled machine. and they were, a mass of moving parts all focused upon conquest and death towards gypsies, people with disabilities including autism, gays and jews. i defy anyone who disagrees with me to walk through yad vashem and come out unscathed. the pope declined. the royal family declined, i'm sure roger waters would too.

the one thing europe would love to do is wash it's hands of the shame, but it is history. churchill was not a good guy, he was forced into accepting the british public's perception of hitler and began to see an opportunity for himself,  hence he never liberated any death camp, he left that to the russians and americans. 

after europe and usa entered the war, lines were drawn, and by it's imagined conclusion, as new lines were drawn it was russia that became the enemy, communism. 

germany, england and the usa all had one enemy now, hence the ratlines, operation paperclip and the show trial of nuremberg where only a handful were brought to trial, the rest just given high ranking positions in nato or nasa. just look at the children of these nazis, now holding office in governments in america and canada, and their recent history is one of colour revolution, fascism and dictatorship. ie victoria nuland and chrystina freeland. 

the bankers that supported the nazi's were not jewish bankers, they were swiss, swedish, english and american, not run by jews. that's a fact. at this point in times jews could not join a country club let alone be allowed to run a bank.

the nazi machine, the national socialists merged with the international socialist agenda in recent times, taking great inspiration from china a country that really is a well oiled machine where the communist party control their population with technology, death camps and strict conditions like social credits. hence various leaders in the west who publicly admire china. a society where the people serve the government. 

nowadays we see how these technocrats control media, run propaganda and cancel it's enemies in the most brutal 'disguised as civilized' ways. 

cancel culture, racist, sexist, denier... all these labels carry with them a certain gravity if contemporary  'society' labels you this. i have been labeled all of them although i can't be cancelled as i am not a media head or famous. however as soon as i get to many followers i will be. as soon as i begin to influence you in the counter narrative i will be a threat. i am banned in china so that's a start.

free speech. while i hear many people speak about the need to control or limit free speech those same people always allow for one exception, the jews who are hated by the left and the right, blamed for all the ills upon the world. far to powerful a people for to small a percentage. they rule the world, wars, banks, american the media, it never ceases, on and on, a pointless pathology of lies, envy and misdirection, for as soon as it suits either side, the word antisemitism is used as if they actually cared about jews. unfortunately most jews can't see they are just pawns in a larger game, and they are just as lost at sea as most other people. the info war is wide, and deep. there's a rule for the internet called rule 34 which states 'internet porn exists for every topic.'

it's variations are:

rule 34. there is porn of it

rule 34. if it exists there is porn of it.

rule 34. if you can imagine it it exists as internet porn

rule 34. if it exists there is a subreddit devoted to it

it's corollaries are:

rule 35. the exception to rule 34 is the citation of rule 34

rule 35. if there is no porn, it will be made

rule 36. there will always be more fucked up shit than what you just saw

so if we tweak the rule to a few more obviously noticeable numbers

rule 3. it's always the jews even when it's not

rule 3a. if it's negative relative to the readers own ideology, it's always the jews

rule 3b. eventually some jews even think it's the jews

rule 3c. it takes only 3 comments in before jews are mentioned.

corollaries

rule 4. jews are interchangeable with isreal

that's basically the facts. cancel me, but the facts remain.

shadows. they flicker on the edges, they move in and out of sight, hiding behind other dark areas, stretching out into my world, contracting back into others, always just out of sight, always avoiding the retina's memory. imagine the jekell to mr. hyde. we all have a shadow, jung understood this and suggested we meet it. 
set in contemporary times, a young professional let's say the daughter of a famous politician starts having strange episodes as a young girl. hallucinations and psychotic breaks. the parents race her to a psychiatrist where she is given medication. 
later in her teens she goes off the rails, sex, drugs and a few assaults, she's bailed out a few times, on remand and eventually threatened with some form of institutionalization.  she is prescribed various new medication and therapy. 
10 years later she marries and has children, but gradually begins to develop compulsions, impulsion's and neurosis that results in aggression and violence. she murders brutally, just for the thrill. 
a physic detective tracks her down, captures her in a trap using his secretary as bait. the authorities are shocked at the fact such a privileged personality could be responsible for such depravity. she goes to court for trail. 
her defender argues the case, she did not commit the murders. a separate part of her did, a part that was her shadow and had split into it's own persona. this is the part that must face trail but since it is impossible to separate the two aspects the case must be dismissed. physiologists are flown in to give evidence. psychiatrists follow. the nature of the mind is now on trail. 
the judge is frustrated with the evidence, he is confused by the whole argument, science says one thing yet his moral code says another. the jury will decide and he will announce their verdict.
the jury are given the evidence. they cannot decide and spend a few days in discussion, contemplation and disagreement. eventually they are pursued by the science, trust the science. she could not be responsible and punished if it was a separate persona that committed the crimes. but how can the persona be punished?
the obvious answer is therapy. during the sessions a childhood trauma is revealed although the details are repressed, hypnotherapy and some ketamine therapy reveals them to be of a violent sexual nature, after which the psych fractured in a form of disassociation, the shadow was born.

the shadow and the original persona are at odds, one wants to dominate and take control, it needs to express it's urges and compulsions no matter how taboo or perverse they are. it loathes the original considering it weak and pointless, a victim. from the depths of inner space it whispers it's degrading abuse towards the original, cruel vindictive statements, gas lighting and chipping away at any confidence the original has left. however the therapist is clever, he knows what's going on thanks to the hypnotherapy where he has access to the new persona as well as the original. it's a process of integration, however the new persona is far to calculating and independent to want to join the original, it's selfish self destructive desire is to dominate the whole body and mind relegating the original to the darkness if not obliterating her. 

the therapist digs deeper until they come to the core of the event.the actual moment of assault and abuse, the point where the personality fractures. glue won't fix it, neither will memory or forgetfulness.

only acceptance and then reclamation of the whole, the new integrated person, shadow and light. it won't be harmony but it will be peace. sometimes you have to let the shadow out to play but negotiate how dark it gets. mostly stay in the light. forgive yourself. 

groovy driving music, captain mission likes to cruise the freeways in his magnificent car, finding zen moments up and down the highways and by ways. the sound system is perfect, it's where all things converge. you really have to have the correct ambiance, podcasts have their place as do audio books but driving really requires a rhythmic tribal beat to flow to. along with some great weed to spirit you away. 

interspecies communication, ultra smart octopi, a banished android assists a brilliant and passionate marine biologist on a remote island of the coast of vietnam, a hacker attempting to get inside the androids brain, a kidnapped man trapped upon a robotic fishing trawler, it's all in here, gloriously written by naylor whom has put a lot of thought into the future, into the idea of communication. a twist on first contact. two main characters have written seminal works which punctuates the chapters in short excerpts. how to build a mind, and how oceans talk. these are the incredible themes that run behind the narrative. i loved it. you will to. 

my fat head hurts, all afternoon listening to a whining woman from nepal talking about how good she is, blah blah blah, all afternoon. it's almost painful, like hot wires fusing in my head, this ego on legs doesn't know when to stop.  i don't know if she's in love with me, jealous of me, hates me or just wants to fight but it's almost impossible to deal with. she calls me autistic and suggests i don't like change, in front of autistic people, one of whom is hitting himself as her voice volume increases and grates whatever shattered peace we have. 'i have no problem with change, it's you i don't like,' i say. i don't mean to be rude but she is relentless and getting personal. every time i work with her, it's like a boxing ring, competitive, antagonistic and oppositional. i don't get paid enough for this shit. sometimes i just wanna walk out, sometimes i just wanna go on workers comp and fix the damage my job does to me, not the clients but the idiotic people i have to work with. i'm trying to build a safe therapeutic environment for people with mental health issues and this is the type of moron i have to work with. it's becoming a joke. i have to shake it off, like a bad energy. toxic. 

the next day she is fawning all over me, calling me very romantic, kind, compassionate and a great cook. it's nuts, i put it down to some lunar feminine influence, i mean what else can i do.

it's a strange few mornings, the water looks amazingly calm, and then there's some big waves, energy in the air warns of storm but don at the beach we smile, laugh and joke around. lots of people wanna take me out for dinner, i don't know why i'm so popular, girls call me on dates, far out. but work is in overdrive, with so many things i have to do, there's no time for socializing this week, the long weekend is upon us soon and i will be working right through that, and then hopefully a few days off, time to play.

part horror, part science fiction but all gothic, leech is a remarkable first novel by hiron ennes and it's unlike anything i have read previously. part mervyn peake, part lovecraft, part jeff vandermeer, yet strangely unique we find ourselves in the far far out future of what may be earth. 

told from the point of view of a parasite that is collectively known as the institute, and operating as a hive mind the institute is a collection of doctors who serve humanity in order not to be discovered by them. 

after one of it's bodies dies in mysterious circumstances one of it's bodies travels by train from  the academic town of inultus to the remote and frozen northern wasteland of virdira to the gothic mansion of the horrid old baron and his very unlikable family to investigate the discovery of a new parasite, one that killed the original doctor. this one is a mass of black tendrils that has incubated in the barons wheatrock mines. it is moving in on the institutes territory and as the new doctor attempts to stop it he is also undergoing some sort of transformation into the original host body. all this occurs while the castle begins to collapse around them, the family revealing it's ugly nature and strange secrets.

as the reader progresses you are invited into this imaginative world where aliens, humans, strange mythological creatures and maybe mutants all inhabit a landscape of weirdness and eventually the black tendrils, the institute and the barons family are revealed as different forms of parasite.

i love this book, it's so original and yet familiar, incredibly written. each sentence is perfect, a literate treasure chest filled with articulate gemstones. hiron ennes has done the unthinkable, and surprised me.

down at freestate, not the cafe i really hang out at but everyone else does and i like them a lot, so here i am chatting away, swapping stories. 
the lord mayor of terrible is peter proud, a great guy who i really like a lot. he swims every morning with monique and they are close friends. andrew is monique's husband and he's part of the tribe as well, another great man. so they are telling me a story about a white picket fence.
peter just bought a house and i joke, 'all you need is a white picket fence.'

the story starts with peter and monique finding an advert in a local magazine, white picket fence free to whoever wants it. if it's still there, it's yours. so pete rings up, and gets the street address, he sets off with monique. as they approach the street they realise they don't have a house number and the owner is not responding to texts. they drive up and down the street and see a lone white picket fence standing around a small house. it's the only one on the street so they disassemble it and heft it onto their utility. as they drive away they get a text from the owner which says 'she wants to give it to someone else.'

peter looks at monique and monique looks at pete, she yells, 'drive.'

and they do.

another story, robert is having a holiday in queensland at fortitude valley, and one night him and a friend go out to a huge club which has about 8 other clubs inside. each club has a theme, one is gay, one for transvestites, wone for transexuals, one for band d, ect. rob goes to the bathroom where he is propositioned by a guy offering a free head job. now robs a big biker guy, he races bikes and is pretty intimidating but he comes out of the bathroom and catches his friend who is very nervous, 'we can't stay here, it's not for us.' his friend says.

'yeah but if you go to the bathrooms you get a free headjob.'

it was hilarious and i burst out laughing but two lesbians at our table stood up and left. 
 

i noticed anthony fauci has just admitted they all made up the 6ft social distance regulation. yeah, well they made it all up anthony, you fucking killed millions of people with your stupid regulations and the ban on ivermectin. you killed thousands of old people by isolating them and then there's the thousands of people you killed whom you ordered hospitals to put on respirators. but no one cares cos as usual they are all to busy hating jews. fucking world is mental!

please do not respond with your pro science and ideological bullshit nonsense, i fucking don't care anymore. the truth is most people were bamboozled and are gullible fools who trust the govt and the media i say fuck the govt. i am intelligent enough to decide what's real, what's true and what i can do about it without some bureaucrat forcing me to conform to the zombie mass.

as far as the zombies go, they are still there chanting their nonsense like chickens chanting for kfc, collective madness is rife.

well written, entertaining and poignant, yellowface looks at the culture wars. it's light and funny with a heavy heart as a young writer steals the manuscript of her best friend and rival. it's absurd and strangely reflects the age we seem to be in where it's almost taboo for a writer to inhabit a perspective from another culture. in this case the white american has stolen and published a book about an event in chinese american history. the publishing industry is as fickle as every other 'art' industry and with the internet it's not long before someone 'busts' our heroine for being a fake. it's not even important that she may or may not be a fake, what is important is the social media is where witches are burnt if they stray to far from the collective reality, a type of madness. it's an easy read for a plane trip, something sad about watching (reading) about a celebrities fall from grace but if you stick your head to far above the water, someones going to shoot it.

simple minds via planet funk - one step closer

 

one lone day off, the sun streams down as my laundry dries on the line. i'm drinking mushroom coffee, laced with potent herbs from netherlands. down at mission control the church blasts out eroz zeta, a sort of alternative universe to ziggy stardust, i love the sounds, the words. it's amazing. my neighbours must be getting sick.

much to do, domestics take priority, but i need to spend the next phase of the morning in the sun, soaking up some natural vibrations and enjoying the warmth while it lasts. i repot a large cacti, it's a lot of trouble but eventually i manage to do it successfully, although you would have to ask the plant how traumatized it is from the ordeal. everything feels right so i take some time out for a few hours.

strangely i have to replace my cutlery so i go on a shopping expedition,  picking up a few other things while i am there at the massive centre i usually avoid. everywhere people are bustling around me, the noise is irritating, the piped muzak disturbs my cellular memory and i find a way to accelerate my traverse through the mall. i certainly was never born to shop.

as afternoon is upon us i unwind, return to a few chores but nothing to ambitious, it's time to chillax, besides i can feel that hash cookie coming on.

blazing of the fire
deeper than an ocean

a force of concentration

the mantra blocks all thoughts

leaving words of power

perhaps sigil minded

the mind becomes focused.

in sex there is a power 

the psychic censor obliterated

subconscious free to implant suggestion

for the operation to begin

when flesh meets flesh

friction is an energy.

and if sex isn't your bag

then there's the monastic favorites, 

sleeplessness, fasting and exhaustion

torture, self flagellation

the censor weakened by time

one slips into trance 

the gateway to ecstacy.

the imp had been following me for days, pesky fucking thing, messing with my books, teasing the dragon, jumping out from behind the sofa while we were watching tv, spilling oats and maple syrup everywhere, throwing my hat over the neighbours' fence and generally just fucking things up.
he said he name was edmond, some sort of 13th-century origin, and he enjoyed our banter which made me realize he wanted my attention but time is very tight. 

it took me about seven days before i trapped it after i had several clumsy attempts. there have been five models of entrapment, five currents traditionally. 
the first can be described as a spirit model, which i guess shaman and traditional ceremonial magickians use, the second is energy work which healers use, the third is psychological where symbolic representation is used, then i guess there is the information model which is cerebral and then there's instinct. 

my instinctive mode told me not to fight this particular demon but to make a pact. it was a naughty spirit and not really dangerous, just good at pressing my buttons like an irritating flatmate.

so, i made the pact, a complex process but effective. edmond was allowed free range at catching moths, cockroaches and flies. he could inflict whatever evil tortures upon them. pull them apart, use fire, ice cube em, trap them in jars, turn them inside out. i had to turn a blind eye. in turn he would stop fucking with my zen.

i'd ruled out any other insects species as he was demanding access over larger grasshoppers and even frogs, mouses, bats and cats and negotiated him down to the three species of insect because they were so in abundance. 

my days start early at the moment, i like to cruise down to the beach, do some wave type things, read in the sun, and take a slow drive home in the hybrid. sometimes i stop at harris farms to buy some fresh ingredients but mostly i like to go home and potter around. because i have had a few months off i'd made good progress inside the house but mostly outside in the garden. the back looks amazing, really deep jungle vibe. the front had had two trees chopped down and some foliage cut right back making it very light. my fish have less shade but can still hang out under the bridge. 

as i exit the car i can hear splashing from the pond. often the fish will get excited when i feed them and make little splashing sounds but this morning the splashing was more rhythmic and regular. it was edmond who was dangling his feet in the water splashing like a three year old.

'hey, what are you doing,' i yelled.

'playing with these fish, enjoying the outdoors, catching some rays, in deep meditation, plotting a novel, taking to some plant spirits, what the fuck do you think i'm doing mission? i'm just relaxing.'

'okay, well i hope those fish are not being traumatized.'

'what the fuck do you take me for, don't answer that, just back off and leave me alone. i ain't doing no harm.'

his long beak like face scrunched up while his big eyes glared at me, clouding over in blood red. and then as we locked eyes, his tongue a forked serpent shot out and wrapped itself around a crawling bug. it retracted slowly into edmond's beak like mouth. 

i let it go, stuck my key in the door and went to do some pottering, mumbling under my breath.

this is the problem with pacts, you are committed. it does my head in but a pact is a pact. given time one of us will break it.